Deschutes Chainbreaker White IPA

Brewed By: Deschutes Brewing Company in Bend, Oregon

Purchased: 12oz bottle bought at Binny's in Chicago, IL; 2015 

Style/ABV: White IPA, 5.6%
Reported IBUs: 55

The best part about hosting a party is being left with a fridge full of shelf turds. About Deschutes:

The Deschutes Brewing Company was founded by Gary Fish on June 27th, 1988, when they opened the doors to their Bond Street Public House pub. The brewery has since expanded, growing to be one of the top craft beer producers in America. The brewery also operates a pub in Portland, and has a dedicated brewing facility overlooking the Deschutes river. For more information, check out the brewery's website; their Facebook page; their Twitter; or Wikipedia. 

The Chainbreaker White IPA is a White IPA brewed with Pilsner, Wheat, Unmalted Wheat malts; Bravo, Citra, Centennial, and Cascade hops; and also has some sweet orange and coriander thrown into the mix.

Deschutes Chainbreaker White IPA

I love White IPAs. This is such an underrated style, so disclaimers up front, this is maybe my favorite shelf turd beer from Deschutes. The Chainbreaker pours into a hazy, unfiltered, conditioned body that is a radiant yellow-orange color, with a firm white head. There is tons of lacing, carbonation, and all that good stuff.

The aroma is a fantastic blend of Belgian yeast, spice, and tons of white pepper, black pepper, and BOLD pink peppercorns. Bright, sweet citrus comes forth, with oranges, tangerines, pineapple, peach, and some mango. The aroma also has some wheat notes, with a little Belgian funk that leans towards clove. It's just a fantastic fusion of that pink peppercorn spice with those bright citrus hops and complex Belgian yeast aromas. 

This tastes as good as the aroma, if not better. You get blasted with tons of sweet hops that dial up pineapple, sweet lemon, and bright oranges. There's a ton of black pepper in the taste, almost drawing up Saison comparisons. There's a good amount of clove funk, pink peppercorns, bold yeast character, and some biscuity/bready malts in the background. The hops are the main character, and they keep the beer bold and refreshing. The peppery spice rides the mids and back part of the beer, and help to dry everything out.

This is an impressively tight package. At 5.6%, this is super drinkable, and a lot of that is thanks to the impressive hop package. This is medium-light bodied, with good palate depth and good duration. This actually ratchets up the complexity beyond the usual 1-Dimensional Deschutes' approach. Up front: tons of delicious citrus, pineapple, bright hop notes; the mids roll into fantastic peppery spice, pink peppercorns, Belgian funk, some clove, more juicy hop goodness; the back end trials off with clean hops, lingering black pepper, and then it dries out with this Saison-like finish. It's just a well-done beer. 

Rating: Above-Average (4.0/5.0 Untappd)

I'm feeling a Strong Above-Average here. This is an awesome beer, and maybe the only Deschutes beer I would seek out regularly and by the 6-pack. Fantastic stuff, really. It's veering into the land of a Saison...and to me....this is better than many of the Belgian IPAs. Really though, I would pair this with some peppery chicken/turkey. Or anything rustic. 

Random Thought: Shelf turds ftw. 

Blue Moon First Peach Ale

Brewed By: Miller Brewing Company (MillerCoors) in Milwaukee, Wisconsin   

Purchased: 12oz bottle from a 12-pack bought at Jewel-Osco in Chicago, IL; 2015

Style/ABV: Fruit Beer/American Pale Wheat Ale, 5.6%

Reported IBUs: 15

I like peaches. About MillerCoors aka Blue Moon:

Blue Moon was first brewed in 1995 at one of MillerCoors' R&D arms; in a sandlot, in Denver, Colorado, by Keith Villa. Keith Villa is an OG player these days. He's off judging beer, and talking about his PhD in brewing from the University of Brussels. There's a PhD for everything these days. Seriously though, it's Blue Moon. Read the Wiki. 

Aside from the kind of rapey name, the First Peach Ale is a beer brewed with caramel and wheat malts; Mittelfruh hops; and is described as a "classic Belgian sour brown ale with an American Pale Wheat Ale." This isn't sour at all, and has tenuous ties to anything that is sour, therefore we can only conclude that Kevin Villa is actually a hack and the Blue Moon website is run by penises. First peach, seriously? 

Blue Moon First Peach Ale

This pours into a light brown, reddish-body. It's filtered and not at all hazy, and screams nothing Belgian or sour. There is a nice finger of wheat-fueled, amber-hued head. The hues are endless with Blue Moon. I really don't care about taking cheap shots, but Keith Villa is apparently a BJCP judge or something. Seriously, a sour?

The aroma on this is super inviting. A lot of people are calling this "overly" peachy and "too much peach." And maybe after drinking a proper soured fruit beer that could be said to be true. This actually nails the peach thing, with pronounced peach juice, peach tea, peach currants, peach pie, and Lipton Iced Tea: Peach. The aroma briefly dabbles in the realm of Del Monte Fruit Cocktails, but beneath all the heavy peach sweetness are some hints of caramel malts, and some slight candy sugar Belgian spice. And that's all I really got for this.

The taste is a shell of the aroma, and reverts to this basic Blue Moon profile present in all their beers. Again, Keith Villa, you fucking hack. You will forever be known as the corporate shill that brews these regurgitated saccharine-sweet wheat beers with this awful extract malt profile. I'm actually quite partial to Belgian beer, so whenever Blue Moon slaps their Belgian stamp on a product it sort of triggers all sorts of angst. Again, I could not care less that Blue Moon is owned by people that have enough money to clone, kill, and cover up Keith Villa and his whacky creations. I should say this beer tastes like Peach Lipton Tea, peach juice, Del Monte Fruit Cocktail, and misguided caramel malts. There's that underlying saccharine sweetness that tastes like making out on the dance floor with strangers and bar bathroom perfume aromas. 

Blue Moon has become the de facto "crafy" brand for MillerCoors, but the veil is thin. This might as well be Miller High Life with some peach juice thrown into the mix. In some respects, I like that, but I really think this beer would benefit from being slightly more hand job crafted. You just can't reproduce the complexities of those Belgian malts and those Belgian candy sugars in some Canadian sandlot. At any rate, this beer is too sweet for 5.6%. It's medium-bodied with blunted carb. The palate depth is full in all the wrong places, and this lacks complexity. It's not bad and at 5.6% I find it enjoyable...I obviously like something about this beer since I bought a 12-pack. Ummm...yeah.

Rating: Average (3.0/5.0 Untappd)

I'm feeling a Light Average on this. This has that great peach note up front, with some Lipton Tea in the mids....it's basically a glorified wine cooler until the back end drops those disjointed and artificial caramel malts. To add insult to injury, the 12-pack design for this beer is shitty and cheap cardboard. I picked up four 12-packs at the store, and each one broke at the handle resulting in a near-disaster. I feel like Blue Moon should make right by that and release the location of Keith Villa's clone factory. 

Random Thought: A 12-pack of this shit costs $14.99. That's not terrible, but you'd be much better off grabbing a 4-pack of Festina Peche for around the same price or less. Even the Lindemans' "Faro" Pêche is FAR AND AWAY better than this. At least that beer has some malt complexity, albeit crashing against 8 pounds of added sugar. 

On the Budweiser Super Bowl advertisement that has rustled so many jimmies...I just don't care. I really don't. I thought the ad was clever and effective. It hit its mark, and craft beer shouldn't be effected. This isn't a zero sum game anymore. Craft beer has thousands of brewers, and that's just in America. Craft beer is blowing up in other countries now, including Canada, Mexico, etc. Craft beer is also seeing a Renaissance in countries like England. So what the fuck is the big deal? So what if the commercial was emasculating or portrayed the craft beer crowd as neckbeard hipsters. Go stand in a line for any beer release...you'll be shocked to discover that it is mostly neckbeard hipsters. And many of them are as annoying if not more so than the pretentious douche pianos portrayed in the commercial. 

Fantôme de Noël

Brewed By: Brasserie Fantôme in Soy-Erezée, Belgium   

Purchased: 750ml bottle bought at Binny's in Naperville, IL; 201??? (pre-2013)

Style/ABV: Saison/Farmhouse Ale, 10.0%

Reported IBUs: ?

The best part about Fantôme is definitely the part where they don't date their beer bottles, so you have no idea what vintage you are drinking. I'm not even being sarcastic, it's all part of the mystery and intrigue. About Fantôme: 

Fantôme is a brewery based out of Soy, Wallonia, Belgium, that was founded in 1988 by the mad man and mastermind, Dany Prignon. The brewery is located in a crumbling farmhouse in the Marche-en-Famenne district of Luxembourg province, and Fantôme's beer just might be more popular in the United States than it is in Belgium. Dany brews one type of beer: Saisons/Farmhouse Ales. Each of his Saisons have a unique twist, and he often brews his beers using herbs, spices, juices, and other off-beat ingredients. Their website is so hardcore it only comes in French, but check it out anyway. 

The Fantôme de Noël is Dany's Christmas Ale, brewed with all sorts of weird spices and who knows what. This one has been sitting in my cellar for a few years now, so it has some age. This was also a beer that I picked up circa 2012, I think. The beer was on clearance at Binny's for a discount price, so this may be a 2011 Vintage or older.

Fantôme de Noël (after cleaning up the spilled beer on the counter)

At any rate, opening this bottle resulted in a gushing explosion that continued for quite some time. Nothing to see here, as the beer settles into a dark red body. There are a few fingers of dense, web-like head, and the head soaks up some of the reddish and amber tones. This beer is unfiltered with obvious yeast sediment floating around. The rising carbonation from the gushing bottle is impressive, as I had to pour quite a bit off to get it to stay in the bottle.

The aroma on this beer is magical barnyard and farmland like nothing I have smelled. This reminds me of some of Jolly Pumpkin's stuff, only much better. There is hay, grass, horse blanket, complex caramel notes, pineapple, sweet lemon, tropical fruit, light tartness, and tons of funk. Honestly, the aroma is divine.

This is impressively light, especially for 10%. It doesn't really conjure up images of Christmas, but it does taste like the Belgian countryside. Actually, this is pretty nuanced, with Orval-like Brett funk, pineapple, lemon funk, and notes of raisins and deeply melded caramel. As this warms up a bit, the funk gets all lemony, with wheat notes, intense Brett funk ala Orval, and some notes that suggest dry hops but at this age and time are probably Brett. The Brett notes in here are surprisingly friendly, with nice tropical-fruit and wheat and dry hop-like funk. This never goes full band-aids or butcher shop or leather. 

At 10.0%, this is dangerous stuff since it drinks like a 4.0% Farmhouse Ale. This is legit stuff...what all Saisons should strive to be. People give Jolly Pumpkin a lot of hate and shit, but their beers really do remind me of Fantôme at times, which is my shout out to the Midwest. At any rate, this is a medium-bodied, highly carbonated, refreshing beer. Palate depth is fantastic, with tons of body from what I assume are wheat malts, and tons of interesting funk from the dry hops and Brett. I can't confirm the dry hopping, but it tastes like a dry hopped Brett beer. Complexity might be the only knock against this beer....it's definitely simple in some respects. But isn't simple good? Sometimes, you just want a really well done Saison, and there is nothing quite like Fantôme on a good day.  

Rating: Above-Average (4.5/5.0 Untappd)

This is a Strong Above-Average. The complexity holds it back from busting out into that true divine beer status, but otherwise I have no complaints with this beer or this vintage at this time. This is one of the best Saisons I have had in a while, and I have to tip my fedora to Fantôme for being relatively available and awesome....even if their bottles gush and they are hit or miss. You could definitely pair this beer with your typical Saison pairings....chicken, squab, turkey, peppered potatoes, and rustic dishes...if you go more modern think of a leafy burger with cheese, or maybe some pickled things. Honestly though, if you are cracking a vintage 'tome, you should probably just kick back and enjoy the ride.

Random Thought: I think I paid like...10 bucks for this beer?

Anderson Valley The Kimmie, The Yink, & The Holy Gose

Brewed By: Anderson Valley Brewing Company in Boonville, California 
Purchased: 12oz CAN from a 6-pack bought at Binny's in Chicago, IL; 2014

Style/ABV: Gose, 4.2%
Reported IBUs: ?

This beer was a random purchase, and not something I would normally seek out. But, at the time of buying this beer, I was sick with a cold, and I needed something in a can to bring to a party. You really can't go wrong with a low-ABV Gose, right? About Anderson Valley Brewing Company: 

The Anderson Valley Brewing Company is a brewery based out of Boonville, Cali that was founded in 1987 
by Kenneth Allen. Originally, the brewery brewed out of a 10-barrel brewhouse, until an expansion was needed to meet demands. The expanded brewhouse was built in 1996, at the corner of Highways 128 and 253, a mile from the center of Boonville. In 1998, the brewery expanded again, with construction of a three-story Bavarian-style brewhouse being completed in 2000. In 2010, the brewery was sold to Trey White, and that same year Fal Allen took over as brewmaster. For more info, check out the brewery's website or Facebook page. 

The Kimmie, The Yink, & The Holy Gose is part of Anderson Valley's Highway 128 Session Series. Their traditional-style Gose is brewed with pale two-row and malted white wheat malts, finished with Bravo hops, and features a kettle soured wort.

The Kimmie, The Yink, & The Holy Gose

This is a golden, lightly hazy, but filtered looking affair. The beer kicks up two fingers of wispy, wheat-fueled, white head, and there's good lacing and lazy carb.

Having just got this beer into a glass for the first time, I'm surprised at how good it smells. There's a lot of wheat notes, floral aromas, peach, coriander, lemon sherbet, and some minerality.

This is clean and refreshing, with nice griping lemon and peach tartness, without much lactic funk. There is a refreshing, underlying tartness that drives this beer...which is fantastic. You pick up the wheat and coriander in the taste, and there's a kiss of salt and minerality.

At 4.2%, this is incredibly drinkable. This is a really well-done wheat beer that is tart and refreshing without any crazy lactic funk. If you like lactic funk, you might be a bit disappointed, but the beer makes up for it with spot-on palate duration, a light and gently carbonated mouthfeel, and pretty good complexity. This delves into sour lemons and peaches up front; rolls into some stone fruits and tropical fruits in the mids, with coriander showing up; the back end drops wheat notes, salt, light minerality, and a super clean finish. Nice.

Rating: Above-Average (4.0/5.0 Untappd) 

I'm feeling a Light Above-Average here. If you want a griping, sour wheat beer...look no further. This is clean, refreshing, and good. I might pair this with sushi tonight.

Random Thought: Somehow, my fridge is full of beer. I'm a happy camper.

Destihl Wild Sour Series: Here Gose Nothin'

Brewed By: Destihl Restaurant and Brew Works in Normal/Bloomington, Illinois
Purchased: 12oz CAN from a 4-pack bought at Binny's in Chicago, IL; 2014

Style/ABV: Gose, 5.0%
Reported IBUs: 12

Between Penrose and Destihl, Chicago's sour scene is suddenly become more tangible. And that's good for me. About Destihl: 

Destihl is a brewery (Bloomington) and brewpub (Normal, IL & Champaign, IL) based out of the Midwest. Specifically, the middle of Illinois in the middle of the United States. Daaaa midwest. The brewery was founded by CEO & Brewmaster, Matt Potts, in 2007. Like many brewery founders, Potts started out as a homebrewer, and would eventually trade his law school education and law practice for those sweet barley suds. Destihl currently brews a myriad of regular and barrel-aged beers, including an increasing portfolio of tasty sour brews. For more info, check out their website. 

Bad pun aside, the Here Gose Nothin' is a "Leipzig-Style Gose" that undergoes spontaneous fermentation, and features lactic notes of lemon, lime, and citrus. This one also has some coriander and sea salt added. 

This is a filthy wheat beer, pouring into a cloudy, hazy, unfiltered, swampy, pick-your-synonym straw/wheat color. The beer produces a finger of wheat-tinged head that is wheat beer strong. This looks to be well carbonated, and blah blah.

Destihl Wild Sour Series: Here Gose Nothin'

The aroma here is really nice, with coriander, ocean sea salt breezes, wet rain, mist, some light lactic acidity, light lemon citrus, some watermelon rind, and a little bit of wheat for good measure. This is an inviting aroma, if you're into little sour bangers.

This isn't overly sour, but it is incredibly funky. This dips into citric acid, tomatoes, tomato juice, unfiltered wheat, V8 acidity, and tons of lactic acid funk. As you dig into the wheat-acid-lactic funk fest, you can pull out some of the coriander and some of the hints of salt. It's more in line with that mist aroma, ocean breezes. As this warms up, it takes a turn towards the more creamy, with that creamy lactic funk coating. I love it.

This is light, refreshing, and incredibly drinkable. The wheat malts provide some sustenance to the body, especially as this warms up, so I would call it light-full. Palate depth is really good, and the mouthfeel here falls on the flatter side of carbonation, which just makes the lactic acid all the more funky. This is reasonably complex. Up front is lactic funk, V8 acidity, coriander and sea salt; the mids roll into more coriander and sea salt, big wheat, lactic funk; the back end gets a little creamy as this warms, and this drops citrus hints everywhere. It's well done. 

Rating: Above-Average (4.0/5.0 Untappd) 

I'm feeling a Light Above-Average here. I'm really enjoying this, and I would pick this up again. This is one of the best things Destihl has cranked out in a can, and the fact that it is reaching distro up in Chicago is great news for everyone. I'm not really sure if this beer is 100% true to the style, but I don't really care. More lactic wheat beers please. Thanks. 

Random Thought: I always have a hard time with food pairings for something like this. The inherent funk to this style makes me think that pairing this beer with strong cheeses or sushi might have a negative result. Maybe pair this with some Greek Food? 

Blue Moon Winter Sample Pack 2014: Blue Moon Farmhouse Red Ale

Brewed By: Miller Brewing Company (MillerCoors) in Milwaukee, Wisconsin   

Purchased: 12oz bottle from the Blue Moon Winter Sampler 2014 bought at Jewel-Osco in Chicago, IL; 2014 

Style/ABV: Farmhouse Ale/Saison, 5.4%

Reported IBUs: 15

DAE Macro sampler packs?

Over the past few years of penning horrible blog reviews, I have never actually reviewed one of America's classic beers: Blue Moon Belgian White. I did review their god-awful Grand Cru once upon a time, but how about some of their more seminal releases? I couldn't pass up on the Winter Sampler Pack for 2014. This thing cost about $15, and comes with five unique beers. Well, five really, because who hasn't had the Belgian White? About MillerCoors aka Blue Moon:

Blue Moon was first brewed in 1995 at one of MillerCoors' R&D arms; in a sandlot, in Denver, Colorado, by Keith Villa. Keith Villa is an OG player these days. He's off judging beer, and talking about his PhD in brewing from the University of Brussels. There's a PhD for everything these days. Seriously though, it's Blue Moon. Read the Wiki. 

At what point are we going full shark jumping? Blue Moon making a Farmhouse Ale? The Farmhouse Red is brewed with Pale Malt, European Abbey Malt, European Acidulated Malt, Chocolate Malt, and Malted White Wheat malts; this features Spalt Select and Czech Saaz hops; and is brewed with white pepper, coriander, and hibiscus. I'm not sure what qualifies this as a farmhouse ale, or why I should pour it into a slender glass.

HOLY SHIT. The bottle of this actually says "Saison/Flanders-Style Ale." It also is part of Blue Moon's "Expressionist Collection." LOLOL.

This is a heaping pile of shit. "Saison." Fuck you, MillerCoors.

This pours into a flaccid red body that is filtered and rather unlively. The finger of red tinged head was quick to drop off leaving nothing but this caramel-soup mess of a beer that is apparently a "Saison." It's hard to believe that MillerCoors lets Keith Villa outside of their rape dungeon or whatever they call their R&D department, so I don't understand the story about how Keith traveled the Belgian countryside while fingering mashes or whatever the fuck MillerCoors thinks you need to do to conceive a Saison.

This abomination smells like wheat and fake caramel, ala EVERY. OTHER. FUCKING. BLUE. MOON. BEER. EVER. EVER!!!! And for the other styles that's okay, but Saisons are supposed to be peppery and citrusy and wheat-fueled. This smells offensively doughy and is not leaving a good impression on the nose.

This is possibly the worst Saison that has ever been made, and is a huge reminder that MillerCoors doesn't have a clue about the world of beer. This wouldn't even register as a Saison in the American craft beer scene back in 1990, and effectively tastes like Blue Moon Belgian White with some hibiscus thrown in because "if it works for that crazy honky Dany Prignon it must work for us!" The caramel and rye notes that cut through the hibiscus are like a bad mix of an Oktoberfest with Boulevard's Hibiscus Gose. Only it somehow tastes seven times worse. This is equal parts muddled as it is stupid, and the only connection to "Flanders" or "Saison" is to the Flanders region of Canada where they brew Saizons. Or something. What the fuck.

Rarely does a beer leave me speechless, but this is an aberration. As this warms up, some of the wheat makes an appearance over the onslaught of saccharine caramel-extract, but this is just so incredibly stupid...and kind of offensive. It's not so much that this is a bad beer per se as it is a bad Saison. Operative word. This is a Wheat Ale in the vaguest sense, and not really a Saison at all. It's just too damn malty and sweet. This is medium-bodied, and pretty full in the palate; up front is a blast of caramel, sugar, bread; the mids roll into some hibiscus, and mild wheat, with faint muddled tartness; the back end is just like "huh?" I'm not getting any pepper or citrus here. Just so bad. 

Rating: Below-Average (1.5/5.0 Untappd)

This is a Strong Below-Average. This isn't sewage by any stretch insofar that it is beer, and it is in my glass, and it is drinkable. Any connection to the Saison style or the Flanders region is incredibly tenuous, and this beer misses the mark like Chernobyl, the Titanic, and Peter North is space. This is just a remarkably gimmicky and stupid beer that needs to go away, like the Blue Moon Grand Cru.

Random Thought: Wow! I didn't think I would have such vitriolic and choice words regarding this Blue Moon Winter Sampler...I mean, it was smooth sailing up until now. Funny how that works...

Blue Moon Winter Sample Pack 2014: Blue Moon Belgian White

Brewed By: Miller Brewing Company (MillerCoors) in Milwaukee, Wisconsin   

Purchased: 12oz bottle from the Blue Moon Winter Sampler 2014 bought at Jewel-Osco in Chicago, IL; 2014 

Style/ABV: Belgian White, 5.4%

Reported IBUs: 9

DAE Macro sampler packs?

Over the past few years of penning horrible blog reviews, I have never actually reviewed one of America's classic beers: Blue Moon Belgian White. I did review their god-awful Grand Cru once upon a time, but how about some of their more seminal releases? I couldn't pass up on the Winter Sampler Pack for 2014. This thing cost about $15, and comes with five unique beers. Well, five really, because who hasn't had the Belgian White? About MillerCoors aka Blue Moon:

Blue Moon was first brewed in 1995 at one of MillerCoors' R&D arms; in a sandlot, in Denver, Colorado, by Keith Villa. Keith Villa is an OG player these days. He's off judging beer, and talking about his PhD in brewing from the University of Brussels. There's a PhD for everything these days. Seriously though, it's Blue Moon. Read the Wiki. 

Blue Moon's Belgian White is the classic beer that you can find at terrible chain restaurants like Applebee's and Chili's. You might also find it at TGIFridays. This beer is literally a classic American craft staple, regardless of what people on forums like "BeersAdventures" and "RapesBeers" might say. Blue Moon is brewed with orange peel, oats/wheat malts, and the usual shit you'd find in a Belgian White. This beer is Keith Villa's pride, and Keith Villa is MillerCoors' Stepford Wife. 

Blue Moon Belgian White

For a MillerCoors' product, this beer is vibrant and orange, and hazy and unfiltered. It actually looks like a legit wheat beer, or at least until the head dies off and you are left with orange juice. Then again, this is a Witbier, not a Hefe.

The aroma is all sorts of conflicting. You get wheat, orange, and honey -- but the aroma is very thick. It smells pretty sweet, and takes a turn towards cereal, with some Fruity Pebbles, and fake spice. It's kind of how I imagine an extract batch of a Witbier would smell.

Witbiers aren't really my bag in general, and Blue Moon tends to highlight a lot of the things about the style that I don't love. For 5.4%, Blue Moon is fairly dense and heavy. It's also fairly sweet. This beer dials up the saccharine juices, and reminds me of apple juice. It tastes like something made from extract, or something that could be further fermented out. In the taste is juicy orange, Fruity Pebbles, some bubble gum, artificial clove that is cloying, and lots of wheat. The saccharine edge isn't overly enjoyable, and the fake spice goes over-the-top in ways that rival Hoegaarden. 

Despite some of the flaws that Blue Moon has, it has a full body that is pretty substantial at 5.4%. The complexity is bottom-of-the-barrel, but the saccharine orange and Fruity Pebbles sweetness is obnoxious enough to stand up to the heartburn inducing foods you might find at such chain restaurants like Chili's, Applebee's, etc. This is a fully utilitarian beer, something beyond the monotonous Pale Lagers likely to be on tap wherever you go, but not nearly as interesting as many other beers. I mean, I'd take a Sapporo over a Blue Moon Belgian White 9/10 times. This is truly a MillerCoors product...the saccharine sweetness reminds me of Miller Genuine Draft, and the relatively uneventful transition from orange/wheat, to a spicy/salty middle, to the bubblegum/wheat back end isn't impressive. And yes, Blue Moon is definitely slightly salty in its attempt to do spice. Salty like semen. Yum.

Rating: Average (2.5/5.0 Untappd)

I'm feeling a Light Average on this. Blue Moon isn't offensive enough to hit that below-average stride, and this beer actually does sort of pull off the style. It's a bit cloying on the sweetness, but the slight brine/semen/salt note that is probably supposed to be coriander spice actually adds an interesting dimension...oh shit, I'm fishing here. Or phishing. Ha, the jokes on you! Seriously though, I would never go out of my way to buy a 6-pack of Blue Moon, but this is a serviceable beer on tap. I've had this beer while out to many a shitty chain restaurant with family and friends. This is a great beer to shove an orange in, and call it a fucking day. This is my Chili's beer. 

Random Thought: The Blue Moon Grand Cru was hilariously bad. Maybe that's why I don't see it on shelves anymore. 

Boulevard Hibiscus Gose

Brewed By: Boulevard Brewing Company (Moortgat) in Kansas City, Missouri

Purchased: 12oz bottle from a 6-pack bought at Binny's in Naperville, IL; 2014 (best by 2014/02/15)

Style/ABV: Gose, 4.2%

Reported IBUs: 11

When you gots to Gose you gots to Gose. About Boulevard:

Boulevard Brewing Company hails out of Kansas City, Missouri. They have a very nice website that is cleanly formatted, informative, and is not loaded with Java and Flash scripts. The company was founded officially in 1989, but began in 1988 when founder John McDonald began construction of the brewery. In 2006 the brewery had a major expansion, which allowed for additional brewing capacity. You can find more info on the brewery's history HERE. According to Wikipedia, Boulevard is the largest craft brewer in Missouri, and the 10th largest craft brewery in the United States.

The Hibiscus Gose is part of Boulevard's Backroads series. This one is brewed with coriander and sea salt during the boil, and steeped in dried hibiscus flowers during the whirlpool. 

Boulevard Hibiscus Gose

If you like radioactive and bright pink beers, this beer is for you. The beer pours into a reddish-pink body, kicking up two to three fingers of long-lasting, pink-tinged head. The beer is slightly hazy, and well-carbonated, and the lingering head leaves lacing. It looks fun, like mimosas and Fridays.

This has a distinctly light aroma, similar to a Berliner, with wet rain and mild lactic sourness. Unique to the aroma here is the hint of sea salt, along with deep floral notes that are fruity and bright. I wouldn't peg coriander in a blind tasting, but the coriander plays off the hibiscus and the sea salt, adding some zest and character to the aroma. There are also some wheat notes backing the whole thing up.

This is respectively tart, with lactic character that leans towards the yogurt side of things. I'm getting a lot of yogurt in the taste, with lemon Greek yogurt coming to mind. The sourness is actually enough to make me pucker so slightly, and this definitely has a salty character. Once you get past the salt and sourness, you find bright floral notes, including hibiscus and rose petals, melon, cherry, wet rain, lemon tea, and some gentle wheat. The coriander is again muted in the taste, but plays off the sour and salty notes subtly.

This is light...refreshing...bright. Really, the perfect Summer brew. This is maybe peaking in terms of the season, but it was drinking good a few weeks ago when it was much warmer out. I'm not getting any alcohol here, and this is fairly complex, with a carbonated and light-bodied mouthfeel. Honestly, I hope Boulevard rolls this one out again, because it's a solid beer. Up front: lactic funk, wet rain, Greek yogurt, sea salt; the mids roll into creamy wheat and more Greek yogurt, with some lemon, hibiscus, rose petals; the back end trails with salt and coriander, and finishes pretty dry. 

Rating: Above-Average (4.0/5.0 Untappd)

I'm feeling a Decent Above-Average on this. This is tart and enjoyable, and way better than 99% of the crappy fruit beers available during the Summer. Seriously, this blows your Lincoln-doodles Lemon Candy or whatever out of the water. I'd recommend this for Summer patio adventures. Pair this with Dave Matthews Band, getting rapey, and fruity salads. 

Random Thought: If this beer represents a trend in the future of American brewing (or beers available to the American market), I like it.

Penrose Desirous

Brewed By: Penrose Brewing Company in Geneva, IL  

Purchased: 64oz Growler bought at Penrose in Geneva, IL; 2014 

Style/ABV: White IPA, 6.2%

Reported IBUs: 60

Penrose is the latest brewery in the ever-increasing landscape of Illinois breweries. And that's okay with me. Illinois is a big place, home to many big towns. Penrose is situated in the quaint town of Geneva, about 60 to 90 minutes outside of Chicago depending on if you drive, take the train, or get caught in traffic (who am I kidding; if you hit Chicago rush hour, it could take you three hours to get to Penrose from downtown). 

Penrose opened its door to the public about two months ago, and I have been hearing noise about the brewery from various social media sources, as well as from this great write-up in the Chicago Reader. There was also a good article in The Chicagoist, as well as one in the Chicago Tribune. 

Penrose: dat logo

I guess the real question is: what sets Penrose apart from all the other new breweries in Illinois? Founder/owner Eric Hobbs and Brewmaster Tom Korder have an interesting perspective, so that's a good start. The duo want to focus on making high-quality, Belgian-inspired beers. Their ace-in-the-hole: an emphasis on beers with alcohol content bordering between sessionable and medium-strength. I found this to be a refreshing change of pace as I quaffed their Devoir, a bright and refreshing table Saison clocking in at 4.3%. The duo bring tons of experience to the table. Founder Eric Hobbs worked for years with Goose Island on the sales side. Tom Korder worked as Goose Island's brewery operations manager AND headed up their barrel program. That's nothing to scoff at. 

I'll try to sandwich some of my thoughts about my trip to Penrose within this review. Because I'm a thoughtful guy like that. Oh, and the tl;dr -- about Penrose:

Penrose was founded by owner Eric Hobbs and partner/Brewmaster Tom Korder in early 2014. The duo are both former Goose Island employees, and they want to focus on brewing Belgian-inspired session ales, oak barrel-aged beer, beers that use alternative fermentation. Located in the lovely town of Geneva, Illinois, the brewery has a local element that is quaint and inviting. For more info, check out the brewery's website or their Facebook page. 

The Penrose Desirous is a limited-release (for now) White IPA described as having floral hops, orange zest aromas, and citrusy hop goodness and coriander bitterness throughout. This one features Pilsner malts; Columbus, Cascade, and Amarillo hops; and Forbidden Fruit yeast.  

Penrose Desirous

This one pours into a cloudy/hazy yellow body, kicking up a finger of white, Belgian-esque head. This is a juicy beer in appearance, with good carbonation. There is some lacing, and the beer retains a hazy coating of head as the beer settles in. Even from the growler, this holds up in presentation.

The aromas here are bright, vibrant, and refreshing. Fresh. Right up front, especially when the beer is fresh on the pour, you get big citrus. Namely sliced pineapple, resinous orange and tangerine, and hints of tropical fruit. If you camp on the nose, you start to get some Belgian funk, bubblegum, and banana. There's a lot of banana, bubblegum, and clove on the nose. There's also a really nice bready/creamy heaviness that I can't quit finger...just blissful malt integration. Some coriander and white pepper show up for good measure too.

Penrose offers flights and full-glass pours. Of the beers they had available -- and I tried them all -- the White IPA was definitely towards the higher end of the ABV spectrum. But even at 6.2%, this beer goes down with refreshing smoothness. There's a touch of crisp, watery refreshness, hoppy spice and pepper, crisp cracker and biscuit, and big floral hops on the finish. If you want to get into specifics, I'm getting a lot of sliced pineapple in here. It's a delicious, sweet pineapple note. There's also some resinous citrus in here, ala orange and tangerine and grapefruit. This is spicy with citrus zest, coriander, and white pepper. I'm also getting mild bubblegum and clove.

In terms of mouthfeel, this is medium-light, carbonated, and refreshing. The 6.2% is nowhere to be seen, and you can definitely clear a growler of this stuff in a day or two. Palate depth is spot on, and the complexity is pretty good. The whole White IPA style is kind of meh. Don't we have American Wheat Ales and Belgian IPAs? I guess this kind of blurs the line between the two, so update your style guidelines. Up front: an explosion of citrus and gentle Belgian funk, stone fruits, pineapple; the mids roll into more pineapple, some resin, peppery citrus spice, growing bitterness; the back end drops a little cracker and biscuit, with trailing pineapple and orange. Just refreshing and clean and drinkable. It begs for a 6-pack format.

Rating: Above-Average (4.0/5.0 Untappd)

I'm feeling a Strong Above-Average here. Per my notes at the bar, this is how I rated it then and this is how I'm going to rate it now. It's just a very well-executed beer without any particular bells and whistles that elevate it to some sort of national must-have status. Having said that, this is elegant and drinkable and quite tasty. I really hope they get this into cans or bottles for consumption, I would buy this again for the warmer months. Food pairings here have to include fruit salads, ceviche, sushi, and anything slanting towards the warmer weather. Pineapple upside down cake would be my dessert pairing.

Random Thought: Penrose itself is somewhat small, and I suspect they will fill up during busy hours. Fortunately, I have already seen their beer on tap at various watering holes in Chicago. Geneva is a cute little town with tons of food stops and scenery to check out. So your best bet is to get some food in your tummy, go get a few beers at Penrose, and then top it off with one of the many nearby restaurants. When I make the trip back up to Penrose, I will probably do so by Metra. 

Samuel Adams White Lantern

Brewed By: Boston Beer Company in Boston, Massachusetts 
Purchased: 12oz bottle from the 2013 Sam Adams Winter Classics variety pack bought at Binny's in IL; 2013
Style/ABV: Witbier/Belgian White, 5.5%

Reported IBUs: 10

Tonight I'm knocking out the rest of the new beers from the 2013 Winter Classics variety pack. About Sam Adams:

The Boston Brewing Company/Sam Adams is, of course, the brain child of Jim Koch (and Harry M. Rubin and Lorenzo Lamadrid). Founded in 1984, Jim Koch got the ball rolling after college when he decided to resurrect and brew his favorite family recipe. That recipe belonged to his great-great grandfather, Louis Koch, and dates back to the 1870s (where it was brewed in a St. Louis brewery). That infamous family brew is the Sam Adams Boston Lager, of course. You can read more about the history of the Boston Brewing Company HERE, or check out their website HERE.  

The White Lantern is a Belgian-style Witbier/White brewed with Spalt Spalter Noble Hops, and two row pale malt, wheat malt, and Ida Pils malts. Clocking in at 5.5% ABV and 10 IBUs, this beer features the addition of tangerine and orange peel, coriander, and Grains of Paradise.  

Samuel Adams White Lantern

The beer pours into a hazy orange body, and kicks up one or two fingers of sea foam white head. In bright light, the beer is a gorgeous orange color, with jets of carbonation rocketing upwards. There's some lacing on my glass, and the bright white head is sustaining nicely. 

The aroma on this beer is very subtle, with lots of wheat, coriander and lemon, orange peel and orange, a hint of clove, a hint of the Grains of Paradise, and lots of wheat-grain wheat punch.

Ehhhh...this is shaping up to be my least favorite of the 2013 Winter Classics. You get a wash of malty wheat with some Grains of Paradise/Coriander driven spice, hints of lemon and orange, and lots of bready wheat. There's a good amount of lemon asserting itself in this beer, and some hints of grass along with the wheat. It just tastes like it is missing something...but it's not offensive and it is on point for the style.

I love my Grains of Paradise and Belgian Whites. This beer is okay. It's drinkable at 5.5%, has a nice balance of wheat malt and lemony spices, and a dash of orange peel too boot. It is the perfect vehicle for the holiday season, despite having average complexity and average palate depth. The mouthfeel is light-bodied with high levels of carbonation and creamy density. Up front: wheat and Grains of Paradise; that rolls into coriander and lemon with more wheat; back end is trailing lemon/orange peel, and the finish is malty. 

Rating: Average (3.0/5.0 Untappd)

I'm feeling a Light Average on this. It's not offensive, it's not amazing, it's par the course. But, definitely an appropriate Winter/holiday beer. I would pair this beer with some glazed ham or Thanksgiving/Christmas dinner. I could see this going well with sweet potatoes and pineapple. 

Random Thought: And now...the Cherry Chocolate Bock

New Belgium Lips of Faith - Coconut Curry Hefeweizen

Brewed By: New Belgium Brewing Company (with Brewerij Boon) in Fort Collins, Colorado

Purchased: 22oz bomber from Binny's in Illinois; 2013

Style/ABV: Hefeweizen, 8.0%

Reported IBUs: 14

I'm a big fan of New Belgium's Lips of Faith beers...and I hope tonight's beer is no exception. That said, when I grabbed this bottle from my fridge, I was expecting a light weight Hefeweizen. What we have here is a hearty, American-style beer. It should be fun. About New Belgium:

New Belgium is based out of Fort Collins, and opened in 1991 when founder Jeff Lebesch took his home-brewing into the commercial world. At this point in time, New Belgium has mainstream fame from their Fat Tire, and craft beer credit for their sour beers. New Belgium is the thrid-largest craft brewery in the United States. You can read more about New Belgium if you check out their company page, and definitely cruise their website.

The Coconut Curry Hefeweizen is a collaboration between New Belgium and homebrewer, Remi Bonnart. Described as "bold and big with coconut and curry tones and a hint of banana," this beer features a spice list of cinnamon, coriander, fenugreek, ginger, kaffir lime, and cayenne pepper. The beer supposedly carries some heat, but is tempered by some boozy coolness. Punching in at 8.0% and 14 IBUs, this beer features a malt base of Pale, Wheat, and Munich malts.

Coconut Curry Hefeweizen

The beer pours a hazy yellow color with three fingers of foamy, gold-tinted head. The head doesn't hang around at all...probably courtesy of the spice. Even agitating/swirling the beer does little to kick up some head. There is sticky lacing coating my glass...mad sticky lacing, like what your glass looks like when you finish that last pour of orange juice from concentrate. It's a frozen citrus pulp cumshot. In bright light the beer is a hazy/juicy yellow color, with fat carbonation bubbles plunking upwards. Alright.

I'm a big fan of curry. I'm a big fan of coconut. I'm an even bigger fan of coconut and curry. This beer smells like super pungent coconut and curry on top of some faint citrus and German Hefe yeast. I am getting some banana, and banana-curry on the aroma. I wouldn't call this beer's aroma subtle, but it promises everything it advertises.

This beer has super tepid carbonation, which isn't unheard of for a Hefeweizen. I prefer mine to be a bit more bubbly, but whateva. The tingly spices help move this beer along, and it is smoothed out by big banana-wheat punch, and some Doppelweizen-esque booziness. That's really what this is, a Doppelweizen. You get an assertive amount of coconut, curry, ginger, nutmeg, allspice, and cinnamon in the taste. There's also a pinch of the cayenne heat, which is tempered not only by the smooth wheat malts and booze, but also by the lively spices. Cinnamon and cayenne are best buds, said anyone that knows anything about cooking, ever.

This is a good beer. It would be petty to dock it for being overly spicy or too straightforward with the curry. But I insist that we call this what this is: a curry Doppelweizen. The body is medium full and surprisingly drinkable...courtesy of the smooth malt backbone and the tingly carbonation. There's some booze in this, but it's that pleasant Doppelweizen kick of banana-wheat esters that is so good. Palate depth is fantastic, and despite being spice-forward this has some layers of complexity to peel back. Up front is spice: cinnamon, coriander, nutmeg, ginger, and huge coconut curry...then the cayenne heat kicks in, and you get some banana and clove, hints of ginger/orange/lemon...the back end takes you on a malty wheat ride to a spicy, slightly boozy finish. The malty wheat body is present throughout.

Rating: Above-Average (4.0/5.0 Untappd)

I'm feeling a Strong Above-Average on this. This beer is ballin'. It's basically a coconut-curry infused Doppelweizen. You get big coconut-curry spice in this, atop a hint of ginger/orange, banana, and a malty wheat base. I'd say the spice is too much, but it's working for me...it's not a session beer, but it would pair well with a food/dish that you have in mind. It would also be fun at a bottle share, or for those weird people that like drinking liquid coconut curry. I'd pair this beer with some chicken wings with a spicy seasoning, or with some coconut curry soup. Really, pair this beer with anything that is supposed to have coconut and curry in it. You won't be disappointed.

Random Thought: My allergies have been kicking my ass all weekend, but today things hit rock bottom. I have uncontrollable post-nasal drip, I'm coughing up mucus like Paris Hilton coughs up jizz...it's not a good time. I'm hoping that this is just sinuses, and not a cold. We'll know by Friday, I suppose.