Guinness Draught vs. Murphy's Irish Stout

Brewed By: Guinnes Brewing Company/St. James’s Gate (Diageo) in Dublin, Ireland   

Purchased: 14.9oz CAN from a 4-pack bought at Jewel-Osco in Chicago, IL; 2015

Style/ABV: Dry Stout, 4.0% 

Reported IBUs: ?

Brewed By: Heineken International/Murphy's Brewery in Cork, Ireland   

Purchased: 14.9oz CAN from a 4-pack bought at Jewel-Osco in Chicago, IL; 2015

Style/ABV: Dry Stout, 4.0% 

Reported IBUs: ?

It has occurred to me that I have never officially reviewed Guinness Draught on this blog. That doesn't matter though, because if you haven't tasted Guinness you can Google for hundreds of reviews or videos showing you the perfect pour. But let's get down to business. Which beer is better for car bombs or that once-a-year dry stout craving, because there is no other reason to buy a dry stout. Ever.

Appearance THE FUCKING SAME. Seriously, look at these two beers. Creamy, dark, mad Irish sex appeal (that's not a thing). The Murphy's might be a tad darker but I'm not pulling out my SRM ruler like some kind of beer reviewer.

Aroma The Guinness has that watery roasted aroma, with some barley, smoke, and faint roast. The Murphy's is slightly fatter, with more roast, more barely, more hints of smoke, and some faint chocolate. These are pretty evenly matched beer in the aroma department.

Guinness Draught vs. Murphy's Irish Stout 

Taste The Murphy's Irish Stout has a nice flavor profile with dark grains, smokey barley, and some faint chocolate/roast. It's a dry stout through and through and lets you know it. The Guinness is more watery, and compared to the Murphy's Irish Stout, is actually more fruity. Yeah, what the fuck? The Guinness seems to have more yeast character, along with the smokey grains and usual roasted barley notes. The Guinness veers into hints of plums and dates...candy sugar...???

Finish These are both light-bodied beers. At 4.0%, you'd expect and want that. Anyone that calls Guinness a "meal in a can" has no idea what they are talking about and should be promptly ignored. They might be from Europe too, so promptly open an American BA Adjunct Stout and chug it. And then call it a session beer. Neither of these beers are particularly complex, but they are smooth and creamy and work. The main difference aside from the light roasted barley notes is that the Guinness seems to have more fruity notes and yeast character, and the Murphy's is a bit more malt-thick and has some chocolate/coffee that the Guinness lacks. 

Rating: Above-Average (3.5/5.0 Untappd)

I'm feeling a Light Above-Average on both of these beers. I really can't not recommend these two beers, but they aren't special or unique. They go great in a car bomb and taste good paired with certain foods in March. I don't really seek either of these beers out during the rest of the year. The Murphy's is definitely a bit thicker and leans towards chocolate and coffee; the Guinness is fruitier. I'd recommend getting the Murphy's over the Guinness based on the price alone. BUT, Guinness also has their Foreign Extra which is considerably more adventurous than the Draught. 

Random Thought: Time to shelve these away until next March. 

[Cellar Review] Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale 2011 Vintage

Brewed By: Sierra Nevada Brewing Company in Chico, California 
Purchased: Single bottle (12oz) from 6-pack purchased at Jewel-Osco in Chicago, IL; 2011
Style/ABV: India Pale Ale (IPA), 6.8%

Reported IBUs: 65

For whatever reason, people LOVE to cellar the Celebration Ale. It makes no sense, since this is a hop-forward beer that is all about those "wet hops." Google it. Anyway, I happen to have a 2011 vintage laying around...so here we are. About Sierra Nevada:

Sierra Nevada are one of the big players in craft brewing, and one of the first craft breweries to arrive on the craft beer scene. If you check out their history page, you will see that founder Ken Grossman began his quest to build a brewery in 1976. In 1980, Ken Grossman and co-founder Paul Camusi brewed their first batch of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. According to Wikipedia, Sierra Nevada's Pale Ale is the second best selling craft beer behind Boston Lager. Sierra Nevada is the sixth largest brewing company in the United States as well, cranking out over 750,000 barrels in 2010. For more info, check out their website.

Seriously, don't cellar this beer. This is a good beer fresh, as I noted way back in 2011. This beer is brewed with Chinook and Centennial hops, and features a Two-row Pale and Caramel malt base. 

[Cellar Review] Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale 2011

The aged vintage pours into a cloudy and hazy reddish/orange body, kicking up a momentous amount of orange/caramel-tinged head. This beer has had some time to carbonate in the bottle, and features a good amount of rising carbonation, sustaining head, and yeast particles that are just floating around. There's a good amount of lacing on the glass as well....

The aroma is a pretty solid indicator that this beer has been aged. Long gone are the vibrant citrus and pine notes. They have been replaced with wet leaves, iced tea, and watery Aspirin. It smells like a weak and aged Barleywine. This is what happens when hops drop off...hop...drop...fade...roll...twerk it.

This doesn't taste as disappointing as you would expect it to taste...but it's no Barleywine. The beer is well carbonated, still, and has those gentle iced tea hop notes with some crushed wet leaves. There's a little caramel and orange marmalade hanging around in the malt base spectrum, and the beer does gently veer in the direction of pine nuts and maple syrup....kind of like a Barleywine. But Cerra Nevaroz releases this shelf turd called Proud Foot that is totally more suitable for aging. Yeah.

For a 3-year-old beer, this isn't awful. It tastes very much like a muted Barleywine. All the faded elements have faded in the appropriate places...it's like being blessed with great tits and also having gravity pull them down favorably. I don't even analogy anymore. This is still well-carbed, retains a medium body, has solid palate depth, and solid complexity. It's a touch oxidized, and the hops generally veer in the direction of iced tea and that pine nut thing you get in aged BWs. Surprisingly, a malt base does retain, showing up in the back-front, mids, and back, mostly as hints of orange, caramel, and bread. This isn't awful, but it is much better fresh. If you want to age a Barleywine, buy a Barleywine. 

Rating: Average (3.0/5.0 Untappd)

I'm feeling a Decent Average on this. It's not bad...but it is definitely better fresh. Food pairings here include nothing. Do you really want to pair food with a 3-year old beer?

Random Thought: Can we finally lay to bed the myth that you should age this beer? If you desperately want to age a Sierra Nevada beer, age their Big Foot.

Redd’s Strawberry Ale

Brewed By: Miller Brewing Company (MillerCoors) in Milwaukee, Wisconsin 

Purchased: 16oz CAN bought at Jewel-Osco in IL; 2013 

A Cider that is actually an Ale? 

Style/ABV: A Cider that isn't actually a Cider, but is an Ale??? (don't care), 5.0%

Reported IBUs: ?

I'm unapologetically drinking tonight's Cider. Or is it an Ale. I guess it's a Cider..."brewed like an Ale." What will the geniuses at MillerCoors think of next. Redd's Apple Ale is also unapologetic about being a MillerCoors product. The website is stripped down with flashy images for bros and bimbos, and features a frequently asked questions section with gems such as: "Do you have 30-packs?" 

I'm hesitant to say that I'd rather let a gorilla fuck my face before I go out and buy a 30-pack of this, but you never know. This "Ale not a Cider" is made with "natural apple & strawberry flavors." Oh, the flavors! I love apples, I love ciders, and I especially love strawberries. I'm also a sucker for advertising, and my girlfriend expressed interest in trying this. For those reasons, here we are. I assure you, it's likely all downhill from here. 

The Cider Ale pours out...fucking red! No...I'm just kidding. This stuff looks like Miller Lite, with a light golden body, a ridiculous amount of carbonation, and a head that lasted as long as one of Kim Kardashian's boyfriends husbands. Strikethroughs are fun. Bright light confirms this transparent and yellowish libation. Why isn't this red? 

Redd’s Strawberry Ale

The Kool-Aid Man showed up here. You get big, artificial strawberry sweetness, strawberry cough syrup, strawberry suckers/candy, strawberry Big League Chew, etc.. There's some sweet, Kool-Aid fruit punch and apples on the aroma too, but mostly that fake candy strawberry.

In the land of MillerCoors, things are simple. When stuff is just the right coldness, the mountains turn blue. Everything is hopped not once, not twice, but three times. Guys with purses are hunted down and harassed and shamed, because they need to man the fuck up. And Redd's Strawberry Ale tastes exactly like it smells. The only thing aside from the Kool-Aid strawberry sweetness that drives this carbonated soda is a hint of apple in the background. But it's like Waldo: he's hard to find and fuck that hipster douche bag.

For 5.0% this is stupid drinkable, and the sugar doesn't exhaust you like a Bud Lite Lime. Still, I bet you get a nice hangover if you drink more than three of theses. The mouthfeel is like soda: spritzy carbonation and refreshingly light fake strawberry. This is one-dimensional in all the best ways, and cynical as I am, I can't really hate this for what it is. 

Rating: Average (3.0/5.0 Untappd)

Yarrrr a Light Average this be. This shit is one-dimensional, sugary, and basically drinks like Kool-Aid soda. But there's a time and a place for this...the beach, the ballpark, at a frat party. Or, on a Thursday night after drinking a beer and watching the Bears game. I don't have to apologize for drinking this. Sometimes I like simple, sugary gimmicks. Take your Heady Topher and your fancy craft beer and cram it, crammy cramster face. Anyway, I'm gonna peace out then jet to the weed house.

Random Thought: 4-packs of the Redd's was selling for 6 or 7 bucks. Can you handle 64oz of this in one evening? Take the MillerCoors drink responsibly challenge tonight and find out, you sissy ladyboy. Need an Ale? Don't worry, our mountain climbers have you covered. They will pop out of your cooler so you can man the fuck up!