Against the Grain Kentucky Ryed Chiquen

Brewed By: Against the Grain Brewery (and Smokehouse) in Louisville, Kentucky   

Purchased: 750ml (1 pint 9.4oz) bottle bought at Friar Tuck in Urbana, IL; 2014 

Style/ABV: Rye Beer, 8.6%

Reported IBUs: 27.4

When life gives you lemons, buy that tarred and feathered beer...seriously, this bottle is obnoxious! I've seen waxed beers, I've seen foiled beers, but I haven't seen a beer that is tarred and feathered. About Against the Grain Brewing: 

The Against the Grain Brewery and Smokehouse is a brewery (and smokehouse) that was founded back in October 2011. The brewery is located in the southeast corner of Louisville Slugger Field at the corner of Jackson and Main Street, in Kentucky, and is run by four dudes who are cooler than you. For more information, check them out on Facebook or check out their website. 

Tonight's beer, the Kentucky Ryed Chiquen, is a "rye beer aged in rye whiskey barrels." The bottle reads: "Cluck Cluck. The Chiquen has come home to roost! You asked for anything but chicken...so here you go! An original rye amber ale recipe aged in rye whiskey barrels hatched right here in Kentucky! Kentucky Ryed Chiquen is malty and mellow, but has quite the barrel-aged bite." This one is described as an amber ale brewed with rye malt. And, of course, the rye whiskey barrels. This features Marris Otter malts, rye malts, caramel rye malts from Germany, and English Nugget and Kent Goldings hops. The barrel used here is a Redemption Rye barrel from Strong's Spirits. Let's see what we got...

Against the Grain Kentucky Ryed Chiquen

This pours into a really nice, two-tone, amber-orange body, with some nice rounded brown and orange tones. I got a couple of fingers of caramel-tinted head, and there is nice lacing and head retention at work here. This also appears to be appropriately carbonated. The feathered bottle wasn't too hard to work with either...no harder than wax, and less annoying than glued on wax.

On the aroma: a lot of funky sweetness. I'm getting the wood and barrel, which is reminiscent of oak...but I'm also getting a funky note that reminds me of Brett. I wonder if this was infected, intentional or otherwise. If this was infected, I doubt it will be to the beer's detriment...but we will see. I'm also getting a lot of nutty notes on the aroma, with some caramel, and some weird pineapple sweetness. Again...Brett? This smells big...let's see how it tastes. 

Yup...dat Brett infection. Again, the Brett actually works with the barrel and the whiskey, and provides some funky balance to the malt sweetness and gentle oak/wood notes I am getting in the back. It reminds me of something from the Prairie wheelhouse, with Brett notes that play off the oak and also drop some fruity hints. I'm getting pear, pineapple, caramel, oak, wood, nice gentle barrel, sweet toasted grains and coconut, and some hints of cane sugar. There are some complex shades of darker sugars in here, and lots of grain/coconut. The rye notes in here mostly come across with the grain and the barrel....I'm not really getting a ton of rye in here. In that regard, this beer fails to deliver. But it's still pretty damn tasty...

I'm really conflicted, because I think this is good and laid back...it actually reminds me of a nice Belgian Ale, or something like Orval...only with a tropical island vibe. This is medium-light bodied with good levels of carbonation. Things move along smoothly here, and you would never guess this is 8.6%. The Brett probably helped clean up some of the residual sweetness...notably absent here is the big rye spice, but you do get some rye barrel, and you do get some nice wood/oak/barrel notes. The whiskey in here is a faint afterthought, but that's not problem. This has good depth and complexity. Up front: caramel sweetness, some hops, pineapple, fruit, Brett; the mids roll into really nice grain, coconut, oak, caramel sugars, wood, barrel, faint rye, and some oak/Brett funk; the finish mellows out into really nice grain/coconut/wood/oak/Brett, with lingering caramel and whiskey sweetness...and then fade to dry. Just...really laid back and nice.

Rating: Above-Average (3.5/5.0 Untappd)

I'm feeling a Light Above-Average on this. I really like this, despite the fact that it doesn't quite deliver on its promise of rye. Okay...so maybe that's a deal breaker for other people. I'm an opportunistic beer drinker. I love the fact that this was infected by Brett. I think the Brett + Barrel + base beer here = winner winner, chicken dinner. That's where your chicken is. So whether this is an accidental success or not...it's a good beer. Fruity, malty sweet, and mild barrel/spirit character make this both palatable and easy going. I want this on my tropical island to pair with some mango salsa chicken, or my sweet barbecue ribs. I think this would go great with a nice pork dish. Maybe even spam. Yum.

Random Thought: I <3 ATG

Pipeworks Brief Relief Blood Orange Red Ale

Brewed By: Pipeworks Brewing in Chicago, IL  

Purchased: 22oz bottle (Batch #426/427) bought at Binny's in IL; 2014 (bottled 06.12.2014)

Style/ABV: American Amber / Red Ale, 9.0%
Reported IBUs: ?

Tonight's Unofficial Pipeworks Thursday™ requires a little more explaining than usual, I think. Pipeworks has quite the lineup of weirdly named beers, but nothing tops tonight's beer and its bottle art. This "collaboration" with Harebrained Design was brewed for the Period Panties Launch Party. What are Period Panties? "Fun underwear that high-fives you for having ovaries and serves as a friendly reminder to others!" You can read more about the launch on Reddit's ChicagoBeer thread regarding the subject. About Pipeworks:

Pipeworks has humble roots. The brewery was founded in Chicago in 2011 by Beejay Oslon and Gerrit Lewis. The duo were both homebrewers that met while while working at West Lakeview Liquors. In 2011, they began to raise money for their brewery using the online Internet site, Kickstarter. Olson and Lewis were both educated at De Struise Brewery in Oostvleteren, Belgium. With that knowledge, and the money from their kickstarter, Olson and Lewis created a unique brewery that is smaller in size, and intended to brew smaller batches of beer. The company's motto is "small batches, big beers." And indeed, since the brewery has been around, they've been releasing a lot of one-offs and small batch releases. The goal is to release a new beer every week. You can read more about the brewery at their website HERE.

The back of the bottle of Brief Relief reads:

"What's better than not wearing pants? Not wearing pants while enjoying a beer! So as a nod to drinking pants-less and to celebrate the insane success of period Panties by Chicago's Harebrained Design, we present to you BRIEF RELIEF.

Brief Relief is a Blood Orange Red Ale, filled with citrusy hops, designed to give some much-needed brief relief from whatever is currently cramping your style. Much like Period Panties, this beer gives ovary owners a well-deserved high five!

Check out Period Panties: www.harebraineddesign.com"

Pipeworks Brief Relief 

I had something for this...I'm drawing a blank. Anyway, this beer pours into a dark, blood-orange caramel color, kicking up two to three fingers of caramel-tinted head. This looks like an Imperial Red or an Imperial IPA, with sheets of lacing coating the glass and sticky head retention. When held to a bright light, this beer takes on a murky blood-orange color, with tiny dots of carbonation working their way up the glass. It doesn't remind me of periods or liberating underwear, but beer is the solution to all problems.

The aroma here is moderately assertive. Right up front I'm getting big hop notes, maybe Citra or Simcoe? I dunno, it's hard to say. There's big citrus on the nose, grapefruit, and dank tobacco/hemp that veers into dank citrus notes. Along with the hops is assertive citrus sweetness, including orange and grapefruit. There is also some bready and rye spice on the aroma, with big suggestive malts lurking in the back.

Aye, this is another banger from Pipeworks, and one of their better Imperial Red Ale-style brews. This is just a fun beer...and I say that in a nice way. I'm getting a lot of citrus sweetness in here, with splashes of citrus juice, sweet blood orange, sweet grapefruit juice, mimosas, grapefruit soda, and big citrus hops underpinning the whole thing. The hops are slightly dank, with big orange and grapefruit. There's some piney bitterness to play contrast to the sweeter citrus juice. Behind it all are some bready malts, with some rye spice and bread providing a nice backbone. This finishes with bread and caramel. Nice.

This is medium-bodied, well-carbonated, and juicy. I'm not getting any of the 9.0% ABV, and this is very drinkable. This reminds me a bit of something from the Lagunitas wheelhouse, only with that blood orange Pipeworks' twist. I really like this...and while it isn't the most complex or bold Imperial Red, it's really well made. Palate depth is on spot. Up front: sweet citrus juice, blood orange, grapefruit soda; the mids roll into the hops, with dank citrus, hemp, tobacco, and some bitter pine/guava towards the back; the back end trails off with hops and citrus and then drops some massive bread, caramel, and rye spice on your mouth. The finish is malty with lingering citrus...slight warming. Noice. 

Rating: Above-Average (4.0/5.0 Untappd)

I'm feeling a Strong Above-Average on this. This is one of the better attempts at an Imperial Red from Pipeworks. Actually...this might be their best attempt at the style. This is just an insanely drinkable and fun beer, with tons of sweet citrus popping, and nice balance from the hops and malts. This beer actually feels intentionally cohesive and thoughtful. It's just good. If you see this one on shelves or in the fridge, grab it now while it is still fresh. Food pairings here? It's hard to say, with this style. The sweet malt notes and rye notes seem like they would pair well with a pastrami sandwich on rye, deli food (anything from a Polish or Jewish deli), and maybe even German or Swedish cuisine. I'm thinking sausage and sauerkraut, or maybe some Swedish Meatballs. This beer maybe isn't hoppy enough to pair with overly spicy American food...but it might also work with sweet barbecue sauce, and maybe some sweet pork tacos. So yeah, you have a wide potential in terms of food pairings here. Slaw and BBQ? Yes.

Random Thought: I have to admit, the Period Panties are pretty awesome. And it seems like they have lots of support. Beer + Period Panties = good times. Although I don't menstruate, I can raise a glass and say "cheers" to that. 

Shitty Beer Tuesday #8: Miller Fortune

Brewed By: Miller Brewing Company (MillerCoors) in Milwaukee, Wisconsin 

Purchased: 24oz CAN bought at some random gas station in Urbana, IL; 2014 

Style/ABV: Malt Liquor, 6.9%

Reported IBUs: ?

24oz? 6.9%? Miller, are you trying to get me drunk?

Let me back up for a second. Tonight's beer is a tale of two identity crises. The first identity crisis is just a giant mix-up, and is important for understanding tonight's beer. 

It looks like your fortune is changing.

You see, back in January 2014 when MillerCoors announced Miller Fortune, they started talking about how this beer will compete with whiskey and bourbon. 

Brewmaster Manny Manuele was even careful enough to pour the beer into a rocks glass at a press release -- the same type of glass reserved for whiskey. And that's the same glass you see present in the commercials and advertisements for the Miller Fortune.

The Miller Fortune is described as having a more malty, complex flavor, hinting at bourbon.

Wait. What? 

Is this beer bourbon barrel-aged? Is it brewed with oak chips? Is there any whiskey or bourbon connection to this giant malt liquor beverage? 

#GlassWhalez, ISO

The Miller Fortune clocks in at 6.9%. The slight boost in alcohol that you see here is apparently to draw parallel to the high proof of bourbon and whiskey. The beer is also brewed with Cascade hops. But mysteriously absent are any oak or bourbon chips, or any bourbon flavoring. There is none of that here.

In fact, amidst all the hype about Miller's new bourbon-flavored beer after the Fortune was announced, MillerCoors released an official statement:

"Since that story ran, there have been several follow-up stories that inaccurately portray Miller Fortune as being a bourbon-flavored beer," media relations director Jonathan Stern wrote. "That is simply not true." [Source]

So...let's get this straight. Miller Fortune is a bourbon/whiskey-inspired malt liquor that is intended to compete with the bourbon and whiskey market, but it doesn't actually have any connection to bourbon or whiskey except that if you drink lots of it you will get wasted? Okay. I'm listening. Apparently MillerCoors wants me to get really drunk, and then to kill people.

Wait what? Kill people? I guess we should probably talk about the second identity crisis I mentioned. Can someone explain to me what is going on with scary mobster actors trying to sell me alcohol? This is what I'm talking about:

"HEY! Buy our fucking product or we will fucking kill you, and your family, and your dog."

I understand using hot women to sell me beer. I understand using famous black rappers that have put their 'fuck the police' attitude behind them to sell me beer. I even kind of understand using Sherpas to sell me the coldest and most refreshing beer in the world. 

But scary actors who portray scary mobsters? Really? Mark Strong might be a nice guy in real life, but Ray Liotta looks like he could come unhinged at any moment. You better hope there are no 2x4s laying around or he doesn't feel like compressing your skull with his bare hands, because he totally has that look like he could do that. Oh, and by the way, "buy our alcohol product!"

Who the fuck is this supposed to be marketed to?!!?!? Ray Liotta isn't a cool cat, he is fucking scary! 

Anyway...

Shitty Beer Tuesday #8: Miller Fortune

The Miller Fortune pours out into a deep orange, transparent body. It produces excessive amounts of rapidly forming head, to the tune of three-plus fingers. The head gives way to some spotty lacing, and the beer settles into an amber body in bright light. There's carbonation in here too. I don't think my fortune has changed just yet...

The Miller Fortune website is underwhelming, which is why I haven't mentioned it yet. The aroma on this beer is also kind of underwhelming, with cereal and corn malt sweetness present on the nose. I guess the aroma is kind of "amber," if you like to describe the smell of your malt liquor with colors. If you delve into the nose a little further it smells okay. I'm getting some light grassy hops, caramel malts, and some sweet, bread-like malts typical of a lighter Bock. It doesn't smell skunky or overly sweet.

The taste reminds me of malt liquors, and there's a weirdly cloying, sweet, off-putting thing on the finish. It starts out okay up front with big malt sweetness, bready malts, some biscuit, and a little hop balance. The middle is also okay, as the sweetness melds into some nice mild grassy hop notes. The back end is where everything goes to shit, like when the stripper brushes up on you during the lap dance and you end up with that snail trail. You get that blast of booze, fusel alcohol, and sickly gasoline sweetness. It's a really off-putting flavor, and it's reminiscent of terrible libations served in 40oz cans. 

I'm happy to report that this will get your drunk. If that's what you want, you could do worse than to buy this. I'm feeling some nice alcohol warming here. But how does this beer tie into spirits? I don't get it! It's like the Ray Liotta and Mark Strong advertising thing. How is this beer connected to spirits? It tastes like every other shitty malt liquor, only slightly better. It's light-bodied, easy-drinking, and spends quality time on your palate for better or worse. I'm not a sophisticated hobo so I won't talk about complexity. Needless to say, all the bready and hoppy goodness up front and in the middle is ruined in the finish. Bleh.

Rating: Below-Average (2.0/5.0 Untappd)

This is a Strong Below-Average. The only redeeming quality here is that this beer will get you drunk. It's not the worst malt liquor out there...not by a long shot. There's a refined element to this swill that elevates it over a lot of the horrible malt liquors available. But comparing malt liquors is like rating your poo: no one wins. Food pairings here include being homeless or wanting to get wasted. If Mark Strong reads this, hopefully he can nope the fuck out of future advertising deals. I'm sure a real bourbon/whiskey company would pay you to advertise, dude. Also, don't kill me. Please?

Random Thought: Craft beer has a huge bourbon connection. Look at all the bourbon barrel-aged beers available these days. The Miller Fortune is not only a bad beer, but it is poorly conceived in terms of its advertising and purpose. MillerCoors is way behind the eight-ball. These guys don't get it. And that's a shame, because I still enjoy the occasional Miller High Life. 

Even though this beer is hella cheap, I probably wouldn't buy it again. Maybe if it came in a 40...at 6.9%, I can do similar damage with a good tasting IPA. If I want to get wasted, the aforementioned 40s will do the trick. Take note, MillerCoors.