Shitty Beer Tuesday #1: Budweiser

Today is a special day; the first Shitty Beer Tuesday! I don't think I've been this excited to drink a macro beer. Let's break it down.

Brewed By: Anheuser-Busch InBev in St. Louis, Missouri 

Purchased: Single bottle (12oz) from a 12-pack bought at Jewel-Osco in Illinois; 2011

Style/ABV: Pale Ale/American Lager, 5% 

Does anything good come out of St. Louis, Missouri? The answer is no. That's why the state is named Misery. It really is named that, inbreds just can't spell. Now I know what you're thinking...not everyone in the bible belt marries their cousin, and you are absolutely correct. Some people are fortunate enough to have sisters. 

America: founded on mating outside the royal family

Budweiser is seemingly as American as Ford and blowing shit up on Independence Day. That is why it is the "King of Beers;" because democracy ain't what this country was founded on. Budweiser was founded by Adolphus Busch, a German dude (if "Adolphus" didn't give it away). He left Germany and came to America in 1857, where he then married Lilly Anheuser. 

Lilly's father, Eberhard Anheuser, owned a lager-based brewery. Busch partnered with Eberhard, and Anheuser-Busch was born. I was personally rooting for the name Eberhard-Busch, but that's because I have the maturity of a 4th grader. Busch traveled through Europe to observe and study the newest and best ways to brew beer. Applying what he learned across seas, Anheuser-Busch was the first U.S. brewery to use pasteurization, which increased the longevity and durability of their beer. Apparently Busch encountered mostly light, lager beers during his travels, because Anheuser-Busch began brewing a light Bohemian-styled lager. This beer was aptly dubbed Budweiser (saucy sources here: wiki).

All was going well for Anheuser-Busch and Budweiser until the conservative, bible-thumpin' Americans decided that drinking was the root cause of all evil and decided that we needed to outlaw alcohol. This period was known as prohibition, and would have sucked ass if people actually stopped drinking. After prohibition, in 1933, A-B began brewing Budweiser again. So here we are, some 70+ years later...ready to enjoy an American classic.

T-minus 20 seconds on that head

The beer pours with a big white head that sticks around for about 20 seconds. This is typical of Pale/American Lagers and is not shocking. The body is pale yellow and looks like piss. Also not surprising for the style. There are giant bubbles popping upwards and it is evident that this beer is extremely carbonated. There's not a lot in the aroma. Some rice, some grain. There is that slight sweet-sharp note indicative to this type of beer. It's clean.

This is a beer brewed mostly with rice, and hops and barley. The taste is of rice, with a slightly cloying sweetness that I'm not completely sold on as being pleasant. It's still fairly clean. The taste is mostly watery and there is not a lot of depth or flavor. The mouthfeel is watery and carbonated; the depth extends a bit further than a glass of water. On the front end is carbonation, the middle is where some of that sweet grainy rice note is, and the back end is that slight cloying sweetness and not a whole lot else. It's kind of refreshing...

The cloying sweetness is what really gets me. My beef with many Pale Lagers in general is that they are not pleasant to belch up, throw up, or taste in the morning after a night of heavy drinking. And thus, this may not be a hangover friendly beer for you. The sweet note isn't assertive, offensive or an immediate issue: but drink 6 of these and belch a few times, or drink 12 and throw up, and tell me how you feel about that sweet note.

Rating: Below-Average

Score: 35%

This is very drinkable stuff. It's supposed to be...it is mass-produced beer made in a part of the United States known for trailer parks and meth. It will get you drunk, and your cousin even drunker, so that neither of you will remember what happened during the night. Also, NNNAAASSSCCCAARRRRR!!!!! And yes, I'm a dick, I apologize.

This is actually an okay beer, but the style has so many better offerings. I like how this isn't a carbonation bomb: it is moderately carbonated, but I'm not belching nonstop after drinking a bottle. I would even go as far as to say this would taste pretty good if you were at the fair, eating BBQ, and getting your 'redneck on' under the hot sun. 

WHERE IS THE FLAVOR!!!!??!!?!

As far as economy goes - and I know economy fuels a lot of the sales of macro beer - you can pick up a 12-pack of something made by Sierra Nevada, New Belgium, or Goose Island (for the Chicago-Illinois-Midwest area) for around the same price if not much more than a 12-pack of Budweiser. 

And when you consider calories, one bottle of Budweiser nets you 145 calories. To put that into perspective, 12oz of Guinness Draught is about 125 calories. So Guinness, the famed "meal in a can/liquid bread," actually has less calories than Budweiser. A better comparison would be to look at another Pale Lager. Heineken has 150 calories per 12oz serving, but packs much more flavor than Budweiser (and is less cloying sweet).   

Lastly, and somewhat of a non sequitur: earlier I poked fun at Budweiser's slogan, "The King of Beers." It's an ironic slogan in the sense that A-B InBev has done some things that might be beneficial to them, but not so beneficial to the craft beer industry. It's almost like an ironic warning label.

At the end of the day, neither the economy nor the calories seem to favor Budweiser. The beer is about as bland as the reputation that proceeds it, and it even leans towards a cloying sweet flavor that could render this beer undrinkable halfway into a 6-pack. There are many better options as far as pale lagers go, including PBR, Coors Original and Heineken.