Blue Moon Winter Sample Pack 2014: Blue Moon Farmhouse Red Ale

Brewed By: Miller Brewing Company (MillerCoors) in Milwaukee, Wisconsin   

Purchased: 12oz bottle from the Blue Moon Winter Sampler 2014 bought at Jewel-Osco in Chicago, IL; 2014 

Style/ABV: Farmhouse Ale/Saison, 5.4%

Reported IBUs: 15

DAE Macro sampler packs?

Over the past few years of penning horrible blog reviews, I have never actually reviewed one of America's classic beers: Blue Moon Belgian White. I did review their god-awful Grand Cru once upon a time, but how about some of their more seminal releases? I couldn't pass up on the Winter Sampler Pack for 2014. This thing cost about $15, and comes with five unique beers. Well, five really, because who hasn't had the Belgian White? About MillerCoors aka Blue Moon:

Blue Moon was first brewed in 1995 at one of MillerCoors' R&D arms; in a sandlot, in Denver, Colorado, by Keith Villa. Keith Villa is an OG player these days. He's off judging beer, and talking about his PhD in brewing from the University of Brussels. There's a PhD for everything these days. Seriously though, it's Blue Moon. Read the Wiki. 

At what point are we going full shark jumping? Blue Moon making a Farmhouse Ale? The Farmhouse Red is brewed with Pale Malt, European Abbey Malt, European Acidulated Malt, Chocolate Malt, and Malted White Wheat malts; this features Spalt Select and Czech Saaz hops; and is brewed with white pepper, coriander, and hibiscus. I'm not sure what qualifies this as a farmhouse ale, or why I should pour it into a slender glass.

HOLY SHIT. The bottle of this actually says "Saison/Flanders-Style Ale." It also is part of Blue Moon's "Expressionist Collection." LOLOL.

This is a heaping pile of shit. "Saison." Fuck you, MillerCoors.

This pours into a flaccid red body that is filtered and rather unlively. The finger of red tinged head was quick to drop off leaving nothing but this caramel-soup mess of a beer that is apparently a "Saison." It's hard to believe that MillerCoors lets Keith Villa outside of their rape dungeon or whatever they call their R&D department, so I don't understand the story about how Keith traveled the Belgian countryside while fingering mashes or whatever the fuck MillerCoors thinks you need to do to conceive a Saison.

This abomination smells like wheat and fake caramel, ala EVERY. OTHER. FUCKING. BLUE. MOON. BEER. EVER. EVER!!!! And for the other styles that's okay, but Saisons are supposed to be peppery and citrusy and wheat-fueled. This smells offensively doughy and is not leaving a good impression on the nose.

This is possibly the worst Saison that has ever been made, and is a huge reminder that MillerCoors doesn't have a clue about the world of beer. This wouldn't even register as a Saison in the American craft beer scene back in 1990, and effectively tastes like Blue Moon Belgian White with some hibiscus thrown in because "if it works for that crazy honky Dany Prignon it must work for us!" The caramel and rye notes that cut through the hibiscus are like a bad mix of an Oktoberfest with Boulevard's Hibiscus Gose. Only it somehow tastes seven times worse. This is equal parts muddled as it is stupid, and the only connection to "Flanders" or "Saison" is to the Flanders region of Canada where they brew Saizons. Or something. What the fuck.

Rarely does a beer leave me speechless, but this is an aberration. As this warms up, some of the wheat makes an appearance over the onslaught of saccharine caramel-extract, but this is just so incredibly stupid...and kind of offensive. It's not so much that this is a bad beer per se as it is a bad Saison. Operative word. This is a Wheat Ale in the vaguest sense, and not really a Saison at all. It's just too damn malty and sweet. This is medium-bodied, and pretty full in the palate; up front is a blast of caramel, sugar, bread; the mids roll into some hibiscus, and mild wheat, with faint muddled tartness; the back end is just like "huh?" I'm not getting any pepper or citrus here. Just so bad. 

Rating: Below-Average (1.5/5.0 Untappd)

This is a Strong Below-Average. This isn't sewage by any stretch insofar that it is beer, and it is in my glass, and it is drinkable. Any connection to the Saison style or the Flanders region is incredibly tenuous, and this beer misses the mark like Chernobyl, the Titanic, and Peter North is space. This is just a remarkably gimmicky and stupid beer that needs to go away, like the Blue Moon Grand Cru.

Random Thought: Wow! I didn't think I would have such vitriolic and choice words regarding this Blue Moon Winter Sampler...I mean, it was smooth sailing up until now. Funny how that works...

Goose Island Gillian

Brewed By: Goose Island Beer Company (owned by AB InBev) in Chicago, Illinois

Purchased: 765ml bottle bought at Evolution Wine & Spirits in Chicago, IL; 2013 (bottled 9/12/2013)

Style/ABV: American Wild Ale/Sour/Saison, 9.5% 

Reported IBUs: 20

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving weekend. My weekend was busy, so I'm happy to kick back with some fancy beer. About Goose Island:

Goose Island is a Chicago-based brewery that began as a brewpub on Clybourn, which opened on May 1988. The actual brewery opened on 1995, and is located on the Southwest side of Chicago. The second brewpub, located in Wrigleyville by the Chicago Cubs, was opened in 1999. On March 28, 2011, Goose Island sold 58% of the brewery to Anheuser-Busch. The remaining 42% of the brewery is supposed to be acquired by A-B InBev in the future, and there has been much discussion about the brewery's takeover. On November 16th, founder and CEO, John Hall, announced he would be leaving Goose Island. On January 1st, 2013, Anheuser-Busch "veteran" Andy Goeler will take over Goose Island. Additionally, around the same time as John Hall's departure, resident barrel-program leader John Laffler also announced his departure from Goose Island. There have been many changes regarding Goose Island...so we will see what the future has in store for Goose Island. 

Goose Island's Gillian (formerly known as "Scully") is one of the brewery's "vintage" beers. This Belgian Style Farmhouse Ale is brewed with white pepper, strawberry, and honey. The final blend consists of beer partially aged in wine barrels, and the beer is fermented using Belgian Ale yeast and Champagne yeast. The malt base includes 2-Row, Pilsen, and Torrified Wheat, and this one uses Amarillo hops. Let's glass 'er up and see what we got.

Goose Island Gillian

The beer pours into a hazy, melon/peach/orange-tinted body, and kicks up two fingers of rapidly dissolving white head. The head peaces out, but there's a ton of effervescent carbonation rising upwards and crackling away in this. Bright light confirms much of the same, highlighting a white ring of lacing on the edge of the glass.

The aroma on this beer is super complex, with tons of tart funk, delicious fruit, and vinous white wine. I'm pulling off strawberries, peaches, mandarins, hints of tart/acidic orange, grapes, and berries. There's also some big lactic character on the aroma, with some [?] Brett funk. I'm getting wood and oak on the aroma as well, with lots of wood tannin, and vinous, white wine elements. There's some more orange and mimosas...that's what I'm getting. This smells like mimosas. It must be the champagne yeast.

The taste isn't quite as magical as the aroma, but it is still fantastic. Where the aroma implies lots of fruity complexity juxtaposed with the wine and funk, the taste dials up the malt sweetness, honey, and alcohol. This is still really good, with strawberry, melon, peaches, oranges, and mimosa all showing up in the taste. You also get tons of bready malts and honey. There's pepper in the mix, which definitely goes with the Farmhouse Ale theme, and some very balanced white wine flavors with grape, gooseberry, wood tannin, and some barrel character showing up. The 9.5% is totally undetectable, minus some warming on the back.

This is a medium-bodied beer thanks to the fruity tartness and slightly dry finish. It reminds me of champagne, or a mimosa to be more exact. There's lots of lively carbonation, and it is refreshing. But 9.5%, oh man. That will get you drunk. This is a very wine-like beer, which is not a bad thing at all. More on that in a minute. Palate depth and complexity are both outstanding. You get some tart kick up front, with big orange and mimosa; that rolls into the malts, honey, and bread, with some peppery spice and floral complexity, and more fruits; the back adds some of the wine flavors, and you get the wood tannin. The booze and warming shows up at the end. Good stuff.

Rating: Above-Average (4.0/5.0 Untappd)

I gotta go with a Strong Above-Average on this. I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for that might take this beer to the next level...maybe some time in the bottle to funk up? That's the thing though, I'm having a hard time justifying the purchase of another bottle. This one was selling for around $30 dollars a bottle....which is understandable given the aging process, and I get that. For me, this is a food beer meant to be enjoyed with a meal. Pair this with some mussels in a white wine sauce, or some calamari, or some white pasta. Seriously, do it. If you don't pair this beer with food, you're going to be missing out. The barrel character and light tartness can cut through oils and cheeses, so go savory and decadent. 

Random Thought: Oh man, the Bears laid an egg today. After today's crapfest, they deserve not being in the playoffs.