Stone Crime

Brewed By: Stone Brewing Co. in Escondido, California

Purchased: 16.9oz/500ml bottle bought at Evolution Wine & Spirits in Chicago, IL; 2013

Style/ABV: American Strong Ale/Chile Beer, 9.6% 
Reported IBUs: 102

Tonight's beer has been getting absolutely shit-panned on Ratebeer and BeerAdvocate for being too hot. I'm a huge fan of spicy foods, so it was with more than morbid curiosity that I found myself purchasing the Crime. Will it live up to the hype/hate? About Stone:

Stone Brewing are one of the more prominent breweries in the American craft brewing scene. They were founded in 1996 in San Marcos, California, and moved to Escondido, California where they recently expanded their operations. Stone was founded by Steve Wagner and Greg Koch. Koch has a reputation among the craft beer community for voicing his opinion, not putting up with shit, and standing behind his beer. Also...farking woot and fizzy yellow beer is for bitches. 

When people say, "I like spicy food," they probably don't mean that they are pepper masochists. I'm a pepper masochist. I enjoy trying hot sauces that push the Scoville limit. I'm a fan of ghost peppers and other unholy chilies. Bring on the heat, baby.

I was surprised when I started to do my homework about this beer. According to THIS blog post and THIS blog post, Stone's Crime is brewed with jalapeños and black nagas. The black naga is nuthin' to fuck with. These are peppers in the same class as the Bhut Jolokia and the Trinidad Scorpion. These are not gentle peppers. These are not jalapeños. 

I'm guessing this beer is legitimately hot.

The Crime's base beer is the Lukcy Basartd Ale (a blend of Arrogant Bastard, Double Bastard, and OAKED Arrogant Bastard). The Crime is then aged in American Oak; specifically, Kentucky Bourbon Barrels. The Crime uses "mid-level-heat" red and green jalapeños, "ultra-hot" black nagas, Caribbean red hots, and Moruga scorpions and fatalis. Can you say "owe, my fundie hole." This insane beer was bottled on October 2013, and clocks in at 9.6% and 102 IBUs.

Stone Crime

What a fucking disaster this was...the cork was cemented into the bottle, and I broke it in half trying to remove it. I ended up having to manually remove the cork with a wine opener, which agitated the beer and consequently lead to some gushing. The beer itself pours into a cloudy, dark red body, and kicks up two or three fingers of red-tinted head. This is a dirty beer, with obscene amounts of sediment floating around in the reddish/orange body (per bright light). Surprisingly a layer of orange-tinted head is hanging around, and there's plenty of lacing. 

On the aroma...aggressive peppers that have been cut open, seeds exposed, on your chopping board. Lordy Jesus, the peppers on this beer's aroma are intense. This is...Julius Peppers in his prime. I'm getting aggressive habanero, jalapeno, green pepper, dry heat, salt, some fruity pepper notes, and something more spicy and more sinister than habanero lurking beneath. If you camp out on the aroma for a little bit, you DO pick up some oak, oak/vanilla sweetness, and a little bit of the base beer. I'm getting some mild hops and citrus resin on the aroma beneath the waves of aggressive pepper.

I guess...cheers? I dunno why I'm nervous. Bottoms up, bitches. Wow...this is fucking spicy. My first sip was INTENSE. As it goes with spicy foods. It takes a bit for your palate to adjust to the extreme heat. My first sip was overwhelmed with heat, but I will say this has great duration on the back end. Aside from the salty-spicy heat, I'm getting the base beer in the mix, which includes layers of oak, wood, and some nice hop resin. As the peppers unfold, you pick up jalapeno, green pepper, habanero, and burn. The burn is pretty intense...I'm surprised this beer has as much burn as I'm getting. 

I'm not a huge fan of this. I thought I was going to enjoy this a lot more, but it's one-dimensional, like biting into a hot pepper. The base beer is drowning in peppers, and the subtle oak and Lucky Bastard notes aren't enough to keep things interesting. Unfortunately, this isn't a condiment or pepper or sauce. This is a beer. It's also really hot...I'm surprised, because as noted above, I like to chase hot peppers. It's just not very drinkable. Palate depth is really good, but complexity is low. The mouthfeel is medium-full. I dunno...up front, mid-palate, and back palate all ride into pepper land. You get some subtle oak and Lucky Bastard mid-palate, and some nuanced pepper notes on the back end. I'm just totally over this.

Rating: Sewage (WTF did I just drink?) (1.0/5.0 Untappd)

Ah, the elusive Light  Sewage (WTF did I just drink?). It happens. I guess I expected more beer here and less pepper juice. While the spice levels in this beer are manageable for seasoned veterans, the beer itself lacks any logical direction. It's just...beer drowning in hot peppers. If that's your bag then godspeed, but in my opinion this is a salty, burning mess. All the subtlety happens somewhere in the mid and back palate, as you pick up some mild base beer and peppery notes...by then the intense burn is kicking in, and you ride salty heat to intense burn. I could see this beer working well in a sauce, so maybe cook with it? 16.9oz is way too much for one person, I recommend tackling this in 4oz or 6oz servings. This is an entertaining novelty, and I'm glad I checked it out. As far as beer goes, I would not buy this again, especially at the high price this sells for.

Random Thought: And here is what I don't get. Stone releases an impressively spicy beer like this, but their hot sauces are weak as hell. WTF is up with that?