Gnarly Oak Winter Bock

Brewed By: Minhas Craft Brewery in Monroe, Wisconsin  

Purchased: 22oz bomber from an $8 dollar gift set bought at Walgreens in Chicago, IL; 2014 

Style/ABV: Dunkler Bock, 5.5%

Reported IBUs: 25

The past few weeks have been busy. That's the operative word. And then to cap it all off, I came down with a nasty cold. Having a cold sucks...it makes it hard to enjoy food, beer, and life. You can't work out, and sleeping is interrupted with bouts of dry throat and blowing your nose. As if that wasn't crappy enough, the one day of warm weather in Chicago is being followed up with a 4-to-8 inch March snowstorm that is starting right now. 

It's not all doom and gloom, though. For one, I got perspectives on the horizon. I'll talk more about those at some point. Second, the mother fucking NFL draft is coming up, AND the Blackhawks and Bulls are playing on a high level that is fun to watch. Third...I got some plans for this shitty blog. I don't know exactly what or when, but I'd like to bring Shitty Beer Tuesday back, and I'd like to mix up the review format a bit. So yeah, perspectives. 

Oh, and I also have me this $2.67 bomber of "Winter Bock." That doesn't hurt either. About Minhas: 

Minhas is the oldest continually operating brewery in the Midwest, and the second oldest brewery in the United States. As you can see from the brewery's history page, the brewery has been owned by many different people, and rebranded numerous times. The brewery began in 1845 as the Monroe Brewery when it was opened by Mr. Bissinger. In 1906, the brewery changed its name to the Blumer Brewing Company. And in 1947, the brewery was purchased by Joseph Huber and the brewery became known as the Joseph Huber Brewing Company. In 2005, the Minhas Family purchased the brewery, and in 2006 the brewery changed its name to the Minhas Craft Brewery. For more info, check out the brewery's website. 

There's no website for tonight's libation, but the bottle reads: "Premium Beer. A classic lager made in the traditional German style. It has a malty sweetness, a dark rich color and is lightly hopped. Made with select caramel and black roasted barley and a combination of Columbus, Zeus and Cascade hops."

Gnarly Oak Winter Bock

This one pours out very much like a typical bock. The beer kicks up three fingers of sandy/bready, off-white head. The head is foamy and slowly drops off into the beer's dark brown/reddish body. The body looks to be both transparent and filtered...clean like a Lager. Shining a bright light through the beer confirms the orange/red body, and reveals some fairly volatile streams of medium-sized carbonation. A pinky of head is hanging around, and there is nice lacing.

The aroma plays things pretty straight too...at least for a Dunkler. Now here is where I get to test my theory. This smells A LOT like the Gnarly Oak Chocolate Stout. Even with my lingering cold, I'm picking up aromas of cocoa, artificial sweetness ala cream soda, S'mores, ash/campfire, dried berries and fruits, and big toast and bread and bread crusts. This one dials up the toast/bread thing, which is kind of what you'd expect or want in a dark Bock. There is a light pine/maple note...maybe toffee...certainly some suggestions of Noble hop character, except this beer doesn't use any Noble hops. #YOLO

Eh...this beer is pillowy and heavy with a lot of residual sweetness. It's not at all what I was expecting for a 5.5% Dunkler Bock...it's like the janky homebrew extract kit version of the Sam Adams Chocolate Bock. I'm getting the chocolate and the cocoa, with a little fruity molasses character, and some bread/toast. There are hints of coffee in here, and some nondescript hop character shows up. There's maybe a hint of roast or the so-called "black roasted barley" in here. But yeah.

It's kind of hard to fault an inexpensive beer like this for [likely] using extracts and sugar. It really does have an extract vibe, with some serious balance issues. At 5.5% the lingering sugars and full-bodied mouthfeel are in contention with the cleaner Lager yeast and high final gravity. I mean...the bottle says the OG is 15, so the FG has to be around 4.9. I don't know, I'm not a fucking beer scientist. You're barking up the wrong blog, neckbeard. Even with the balance issues, this is drinkable. But I chug even the most cloying shit these days. I'd probably reserve this Walgreens bargain for a cold winter night like tonight. This beer is the cheerleader of one-dimensional. Complexity is low, but that expansive mouthfeel would make any football team happy. You get sugary chocolate and cocoa up front with fruity molasses; the mids have more sugary chocolate and cocoa, with hints of toffee and toast, some hops; the back end has more sugary chocolate and cocoa, with some hints of coffee/roast. The finish is sugary, with Tootsie Roll candies and that feeling you had when you were a kid and got lost at Walmart. 

Rating: Below-Average (2.5/5.0 Untappd)

IDGAF if this beer costs $2.67 or if it was free. This is for sure a Light Below-Average, just missing the median that is average for the style. Maybe I'm being overly harsh, but this beer makes me appreciate other Bocks that I have been somewhat critical of. It just lacks balance...and the cloying sweetness doesn't work for this style. I gave the Gnarly Oak Chocolate Stout a pass because the Dry Stout/English Stout can work with some of these fake cocoa flavors, but brewing a good Dunkler Bock is evidently harder than people think. It's probably a good lesson in "Lagers are harder to make than you give credit, you Yankee wanker." Anyway...this beer is best paired with spontaneous Walgreens purchases, ice cream, and cold winter nights like tonight. It's also a good beer to drink while you bridge the gap between being sick and not being sick. 

Random Thought: Not that I care and nor should you, but the spineless fartbox that no one cares about known as the Brewer's Association just updated their craft beer guidelines. Millions of beer nerds everywhere suddenly started to care. People LITERALLY left their Goose Island Black Friday lines, forgoing an opportunity to acquire Proprietors Bourbon County, now empowered with the knowledge that Goose Island are a bunch of InBev shills. Angels began to sing and jizz everywhere, and the president of the Brewer's Association, ....????..., made a speech that everyone listened to. Anyway, congratulations to Minhas "Craft Brewery." You guys are officially a craft brewery now. You can officially charge more than $8 for your gift set of mediocre beer. But seriously, the glass is pretty nice.