North Coast Old Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout

What better way to pop the Stout cherry than with Old Rasputin, pretty much the standard Imperial Stout amongst beer geeks.

Brewed By: North Coast Brewing Company in Fort Bragg, California

Purchased: 12oz bottle from a 4-pack, purchased at Binny's in Chicago, IL; 2011

Style/ABV: Russian Imperial Stout, 9%

Like IPAs of old, traditional Russian Imperial Stouts were brewed to high gravity and hopped to high heaven so that the beer could survive long voyages. Specifically, the beer needed to go from England to the Baltic States and Russia. Imperial Stouts continue to see huge ABVs for no purpose other than to brew really awesome, extreme beer. Thanks American craft beer movement! Today's beer clocks in at 9% ABV. That is a big ABV, but not even close to pushing the envelope for Imperial Stouts.

Old Rasputin has a cult following, and is one of the Imperial Stout standards among beer geeks and craft beer drinkers. Old Rasputin is brewed by North Coast Brewing, a brewery that has been around since 1988. Today's beer has won a boatload of awards; it clocks in at 9% ABV and packs a mean 75 IBUs; and is brewed in the tradition of the 18th Century English Brewers.

Today's beer features a picture of Rasputin on the bottle, along with Russian text which looks cryptic but probably isn't (I fail language barriers). Rasputin is a Russian legend known for his occult practices, and being impossible to kill. He was also a ladies man, banging away in his spare time. Rasputin was kind of a bad ass motherfucker, so I felt like the only appropriate way to enjoy this beer is with Rasputin himself. I present today's special guest: Grigori Rasputin.

adhdJon: Greeting, Rasputin. How are you doing today?

Rasputin: Where are the assassins!?!? 

adhdJon: Umm...there are no assassins here, just me and some beer! 

Rasputin: Good. Assassins and women are my worst enemies.

adhdJon: What about women assassins?

Rasputin: Never get caught with your submarine in the Baltic sea.

adhdJon: ....So, Rasputin, what gives? According to Wikipedia you are dead? 

Rasputin: HAHAHA! You cannot kill Rasputin! In Russia, we do not use Wikipedia as a credible source.

adhdJon: Riiiight....you probably censor it.

Rasputin: Hey! We may censor our Internet, but how many countries can you buy your bride from? Eh, eh?

adhdJon: So if you are truly impossible to kill, then is all the stuff they say about your giant "National Treasure" true as well?

Rasputin: You mean my giant penis? Of course!

adhdJon: Okay. So you are hung like a horse, impossible to kill, impermeable to old age...that's an impressive resume. So, I have also heard that you are an expert authority on beer?

Rasputin's Penis? (picture not to scale)

Rasputin: Yes. I am on the bottle, aren't I?

adhdJon: Okay, that is true. So Rasputin, can you tell me what to expect from this beer?

Rasputin: This beer will put hair on chest, even on little girl!

adhdJon: Umm...but little girl shouldn't be drinking alcohol anyway, right? 

Rasputin: Not so in Russia.

adhdJon: I see....well I won't argue with you. So is this beer going to taste like alcohol? 

Rasputin: No, no! Imperial Stout is boozy, but should be warming and mellow like large Russian woman. And strong like when she lays on top of you! 

adhdJon: So this beer should be like a large Russian woman? What flavors should I expect? 

Rasputin: Roasty, fruity, bittersweet, chocolate, coffee, cocoa, little children. No, I'm just kidding! Hahaha Russia funny!

adhdJon: I see why someone might have wanted to assassinate you. o_O. Okay, so shall we open up a bottle and see what this beer is all about?  

Rasputin: I've already had 6.

adhdJon: 6! Good lord! You do know that one of these beers packs around 300 calories. The breakdown is actually 300+ calories per 12 ounces, making this quite a costly and calorie-intense beer. The good news is other high-ABV Imperial Stouts also rack up the calories, so this beer is not unique in being high calorie.

Rasputin: Calories are good! In Russia, we drink til people look good. We did invent Vodka after all.

adhdJon: Touche...touche. Anyway, this beer pours a wonderfully pitch black color. The body on this one is quite dark with nary a hint of color escaping. The head on this beer is a gorgeous brown, coffee-brown color. The head does not stick around for long, but that is to be expected with such a high-ABV beer. There are some alcohol legs, and the head leaves some nice bubbly foam on the top of the glass. The remnants of head look like some evil stew or witch's cauldron, it is quite menacing. Swirling my snifter stirs up the head, so my guess is there is good carbonation in this beer.

Rasputin: There should be some carbonation.

adhdJon: Well, we will find out when we taste it. This beer smells really good. I smell a lot of roasted malts, dark fruits, some burnt notes, molasses, a wood note, berries and cherry, and maybe even some vanilla. There is also some booze on the nose as well, but hey - at 9% ABV that's okay.

Old Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout

Rasputin: Alright, alright, you are moving slower than a Polish blitzkrieg. How does it taste!

adhdJon: Wow, this tastes really good. This is a smooth and silky beer, but it is also quite bitter at 75 IBUs.

Rasputin: Smooth and bitter, just like me.

adhdJon: Didn't you force yourself onto a handful of nuns?

Rasputin: A vow of silence, it's like don't ask, don't tell. 

adhdJon: You magnificent, evil bastard. Anyway, this beer has a hop presence, but the whole profile of this beer is incredibly bitter. This beer tastes like someone took a cup of coffee and poured it over a campfire. There is bitter coffee and chocolate, pulls towards vanilla, a cherry and berry note, velvet bitterness on the back end, a wood-tobacco quality, and some booze on the back end.

Rasputin: When Rasputin gets wood, people notice.

adhdJon: How would you describe the body, mouthfeel, and palate?

Rasputin: This beer is full-bodied, like my second wife. It has medium complexity, but huge depth. There is some alcohol warming on the back end, but this beer is carbonated and velvety smooth like torpedo. Very drinkable!

adhdJon: How would you describe the palate?

Rasputin: The front end is carbonated and has burnt flavors and those berry and cherry flavors! The middle shows the first signs of alcohol, and you get coffee and vanilla. The back end is warming, boozy, bitter, and leaves trace notes of coffee, vanilla, and burnt notes. This is velvety and smooth from front to back, but the bitterness is drying on the back of the palate. 

adhdJon: So would you drink this again?

Rasputin: I only drink this. And Vodka.

adhdJon: So what is the verdict on this beer, Rasputin?

Rasputin: I would let someone cut off my penis again for this beer! 100%!

adhdJon: I see...well, I am going to say this beer is a 87% beer for me.

Rasputin: You disgrace Russia! You weak America. I will crush you.

adhdJon: How about we make a deal...if you don't crush me, I will let you come back in the future to talk about beer? 

Rasputin: Deal!  

adhdJon: Okay, well until next time, cheers! 

Rasputin: FOR THE MOTHERLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Rating: Above-Average

Score: 87%

North Coast's Old Rasputin isn't just the standard, it actually is a brilliant beer that goes above and beyond in many ways to deliver one of the most satifying Imperial Stout experiences available. 

This is a really interesting beer. There is an extremely bitter quality (from the hops; 75 IBUs) that drives home some big dark chocolate and coffee notes. This beer also retains an incredibly velvety mouthfeel that seems to play off the vanilla and berry/cherry notes in the beer. There are also pulls towards a woody and tobacco note. 

Aesthetically, this beer looks like a witch's cauldron once the head subsides. You can actually stir the head back up by swirling your glass. There is good carbonation as well. At 9% ABV, this beer is pretty drinkable despite being kind of heavy and dry. This is more velvety than oily, so it isn't a hot sticky mess like some big beers are. I have seen people pouring this beer into a pint glass, but I am of the opinion that the best way to enjoy a beer like this is slowly, and in your snifter or tulip glass. This is a great beer, so why pound it back?

But.

And hear me out. You could drink this beer less conservatively than many other Imperial Stouts. Why is that? Because this beer is relatively cheap. I've seen a 4-pack of this going for between 8 to 10 bucks. At 8 bucks, that is less than 2 dollars a bottle. For a beer with such a huge ABV, that is a steal. Two of these will make you feel really, really good. Four of these will get your drunk. Just some food for thought. 

So....why not the divine rating. I know you're thinking it. It's a matter of perspective at this point. Earlier today I had some of Goose Island's Night Stalker. At 11.7%, that is a superbly complex monster of a stout. It was just a reminder to me how competitive and cutthroat the Imperial Stout category is. In some ways, the Imperial Stout category is likely the most competitive, envelope-pushing style of beer. Like Double IPAs, brewers are going to extremes and beyond to entertain and challenge beer drinkers. 

The take-home point is not that this beer doesn't meet expectations; this beer meets all expectations and exceeds them. The point is that in the Imperial Stout category the ceiling is extremely high. If I rate this beer higher, I run out of room quickly. A better way to approach this is to look at Imperial Stouts like this: any beer getting above an 85% is pretty much going to blow your palate away. 

This is a life-changing, bargain of a beer. This is the standard in the world of Imperial Stouts. If you are looking for a place to start, start here. If you are looking for a good standby, get this beer. This style of beer is not noobie friendly, so if this is your first stout I would advise you to look into an Irish/Dry Stout or an American or Cream Stout. Stay away from Imperial anything until you are more experienced.

For everyone else: GO GET THIS BEER NOW. It is a classic. 

In the meantime, I look forward to reviewing more stouts, and perhaps we will see Rasputin around again, someday. 

Shitty Beer Tuesday #4: Miller High Life

Brewed By: Miller Brewing Company (MillerCoors) in Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Purchased: Single, big-ass, bomber can (25.4oz) from Jewel-Osco in Illinois; 2011

Style/ABV: Pale Ale/American Lager, 4.7%

Why do college students by cheap beer? The answer is because they are poor. What is better than a 24-pack? Correct, a 30-pack. Are fraternities just socially acceptable vehicles that support date rape and bad behavior? Broseph, I don't have an answer.

Shitty Beer: not just for bros

At some point in time, you maybe went to college. If you did, there is a good chance you drank beer. And if you did drink beer, there is a good chance that it had the word "lite" towards the end of the title. Today's shitty beer is "The Champagne of Beers." This is not some unofficial slogan made up by the homeless dude on the corner who was just able to swindle a dollar out of you and go buy a 40. No, this is actually official marketing from the folks at Miller.

Miller High Life has been around since 1903. The beer's famous slogan came about because the beer is so carbonated and bubbly that it is "The Champagne of Beers." This beer was originally only available in miniature champagne bottles, and was one of the premier "high-end" beers in the country. It is amazing how this beer went from being premier, to a 7-11 beer that college kids buy in 30-packs to chug while playing beer pong. This beer is king at the beer pong table, among bros, and the homeless. How the mighty have fallen...or has it?

Miller High Life

I'm not going to indulge and pour this beer into a Champagne flute or anything like that. But this beer pours a nice golden-clear color that is quite carbonated. There is a bubbly head that has thin bubbles and is very very white. The body is clear and clean, and the head is not only hanging around sort of decently, but it is leaving some lacing.

The aroma on the nose is very clean and sort of boring. I get a lot of rice and grain, and a sweet note like apple. 

There isn't a lot going on as far as flavors go, but there is something going on. First off, there is a lot of that thin rice/grain note. There is also light fruity esters, along the lines of apple, like I was smelling on the nose. This is pretty neutral in terms of cloying (Budweiser) or more sour/bitter (Heineken). Some of the sweetness in this takes on a slight honey or corn syrup note, and there is a touch of cereal or sweet malt in here as well.

This is light-bodied, crisp, refreshing, and super drinkable! At 4.7%, you might need a few of these to get drunk, but you could easily pound a few of these back if you needed to. The only thing stopping you is...*belch*...all that carbonation. This is not a complex beer, but then it is a pale lager. It has a good mouthfeel that has good depth for the style and isn't cloying or bitter. The front end is carbonated and full of sweet esters like cereal, malts, honey and apples. The middle is smooth and that is where I am getting some grain and rice. The back end is grain and rice and finishes crisp.

Oh, and this is from a can, and not a green fucking bottle. This isn't going to be contaminated by the sun.

Rating: Above-Average
Score: 79%

High Life > Budweiser

That's right, bitches. 79%. Above-Average. Look, I'm a total beer geek. I love hops, I love over-the-top ABVs, I love all the crazy stuff going on with craft beer these days. But sometimes you need to get back to the basics. As far as I am concerned, this is one of Miller's most unadulterated beers. I don't see Miller advertising this beer with commercials that are attacking how manly I am, or talking about their Vortex neck on their bottle, or telling me how the Rocky Mountains turn blue on the bottle when the beer is cold enough to drink.

This beer is a business beer. This is a beer you drink when you want to drink a high volume of beer. This is a beer pong beer. This is a hot summer day beer to drink after mowing your lawn. This beer has enough flavors that aren't cloying (Budweiser, Stella) and still tastes pretty good.

This beer has a good palate, looks good when you pour it, has a decently lasting head for the style, has lacing, and is cheap. You can drink 10 of these in one night (I speak from experience), and a 30 pack of this stuff runs between 14 and 18 bucks. To put that in perspective, at 14 bucks, that is less than 50 cents a can. That is a steal.  

Miller High Life is one of my preferred standard American Lagers.

New Holland Ichabod

Brewed By: New Holland Brewing Company in Holland, Michigan

Purchased: 12oz bottle from a 6-pack purchased at Jewel-Osco in IL; 2011

Style/ABV: Pumpkin Ale, 5.2% (seems like a variable ABV at the moment)

How is it that pumpkin and fall beers show up in the store around late July and early August? What the hell, beer industry. I want to dust off some wheat beers in late August, and not be reminded of the 9 months of cold, shitty cold that are on the horizon. It's bad enough that the fall of 2011 has opened up with rain and below-average temperatures. 

Try as I might to ignore them, fall beers have been glaring at me, so I finally broke down mid-September and picked some up. Pumpkin beers are already lining the shelves, and while I think pumpkins are mostly acceptable between October and November, I'll let late September slide. 

New Holland Brewing Company are local to the Midwest. Based out of Holland, Michigan, the brewery was founded in 1996 and make about 10,000 barrels annually. They have a handful of staples, including their Mad Hatter IPA and their The Poet Stout, and they also have a handful of seasonal offerings. They have recently bought into the Pumpkin Beer hype, and have rolled out their Ichabod Ale. According to their website, Ichabod combines malted barley with real pumpkin, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Ichabod, or Ichabod Crane to be more exact, meets the Headless Horseman in The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. The imagery and the artwork is spectacular and completely Halloween-esque, but is this beer worthy?

Very cool artwork.

This beer pours with a hazy brown-orange color. The body is moderately carbonated, and the carbonation contributes to a moderately bubbly head. The body is slightly murky, and the head is tan-brown. This is a murky, Autumn-looking beer, so it sets the scene well.

The aroma is HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE nutmeg. I can smell club soda, carbonation, nutmeg and cinnamon, big big spices, gingerbread cookies, and spiced pumpkin cookies. The overwhelming aroma note is huge huge spice. And that spice is nutmeg.

The taste is very lagery, and finishes with some club soda bite. There are huge spice notes pulling at your palate, and they have a lot of synergy with the carbonation. The end result is a beer that is overwhelmingly nutmeg and cinnamon-forward. 

Interestingly enough, this is my third bottle of this stuff, and the first time I am detecting any noticeable malt or pumpkin notes. This is overwhelmingly spicy, and the giant nutmeg notes really overwhelm your palate. Once the nutmeg is done blasting your palate, you seem to develop an aversion to the spice, and you pick up on hints of malt and pumpkin. The pumpkin I am getting is really nice. To be frank, the notes that I am getting are more along the lines of pumpkin cookies, or gingerbread cookies.

In summary, what you can expect to taste in this beer is: nutmeg, cinnamon, manifestations of carbonation and spice such as club soda; once your palate adjusts to the huge nutmeg notes, you can pull out some spiced gingerbread or pumpkin cookies. There is a hint of malt, but it mostly softens the beer and rounds it out.

Murky and orange.

This is about as complex as nutmeg water. This beer has a medium body, and is too spicy to be refreshing. Despite being hugely spicy, this is drinkable with a nice carbonated mouthfeel. This beer has some depth: the front end of your palate gets blasted with a lagery feel, carbonation, and the beginning of the nutmeg storm. The middle is pretty spicy but rolls into some malt and pumpkin. The back end finishes by pinching your palate with that spice note, and leaving hints of pumpkin and gingerbread cookies. Anyone who uses lots of cinnamon or nutmeg will know what is up with this beer.

Rating: Average
Score: 74%

At first I was not impressed by this beer. This is a Pumpkin Ale after all. Not a nutmeg ale. The more of this I drink, the more I can start to home in on a legitimate pumpkin note. I would say this beer is a worthy October beer, and certainly a worthy spiced beer. If you don't like your pumpkin beers overly spiced, stay away from this beer. If you are looking for a more dominating pumpkin flavor, perhaps look elsewhere. At the end of the day, I could see trying this out, and I could certainly see myself picking this up again next October. 

New Holland's Ichabod won't blow your head off, but it is an acceptable choice for a October-Halloween beer. Especially if you enjoy nutmeg. You've been warned.