Pipeworks Mocha Abduction

Brewed By: Pipeworks Brewing in Chicago, IL  

Purchased: 22oz bottle (Batch #435/36/37) bought at West Lakeview Liquors in Chicago, IL; 2014 (bottled 05.??.2014)

Style/ABV: Imperial Stout (brewed with cacao, vanilla, and coffee), 10.5%
Reported IBUs: ?

Happy Unofficial Pipeworks Thursday™ everybody. I'm not going to ramble on for too long here. All you need to know is beer good, Friday better. About Pipeworks:

Pipeworks has humble roots. The brewery was founded in Chicago in 2011 by Beejay Oslon and Gerrit Lewis. The duo were both homebrewers that met while while working at West Lakeview Liquors. In 2011, they began to raise money for their brewery using the online Internet site, Kickstarter. Olson and Lewis were both educated at De Struise Brewery in Oostvleteren, Belgium. With that knowledge, and the money from their kickstarter, Olson and Lewis created a unique brewery that is smaller in size, and intended to brew smaller batches of beer. The company's motto is "small batches, big beers." And indeed, since the brewery has been around, they've been releasing a lot of one-offs and small batch releases. The goal is to release a new beer every week. You can read more about the brewery at their website HERE.

The Mocha Abduction ominously states:

"I don't think these aliens are that bad. What's that you ask? That they don't like you? That they don't like me either? WRONG! I mean maybe we've all just been brainwashed by Hollywood alien invasion movies. Has anyone even tried to talk to them? Here, I'll go bring them a Pipeworks Mocha Imperial Stout with coffee and rich chocolate. This beer is amazing. No disintegrations. " 
- Jeff's last words before being encased in choconite.

Pipeworks Mocha Abduction

The Mocha Abduction pours out like every other Abduction, only datglass.woah and thistle.jpeg and yeah. Look at that glass: head retention, massive cascading foam -- fuckin' a. The body of this beer is dark black and opaque, and depending on your glass of choice, you'll be left with several fingers of dense, sustaining, mocha-tinted head. Bright light confirms the same stuff. 

The aroma: oh yeah. This is the good stuff. I'm getting massive waves of chocolate, cocoa, vanilla, vanilla bean, coffee, mocha, and big-ass biscotti. Wowza. There's some really nice coffee notes on the nose, with hazelnut, freshly brewed coffee, and nutty-coffee-sweetness. Dayum.

Mmm...this is blissful. Wow. This dials things up past Southern Tier levels of sweetness, with huge hazelnut, sweet vanilla, bitter espresso bite, mocha, and some velvety smooth vanilla/cacao notes. The coffee stands out strong in the mix, and provides a much needed backbone and counterpoint to all the sweet notes. The hazelnut lingers for quite some time, and then as that drops off you are left with lingering coffee and alcohol warming. There are big molasses and cakey sweetness up front, and this beer screams "dessert" with notes that hint at coconut cake and chocolate cake. Just...fantastic.

I'm smitten. I wasn't even tasting a Stout tonight...."drink the hoppy pale ale," I was thinking, as I drove home from work. This beer is fantastic. Easily up there with the Coffee Break, maybe better. You definitely get some alcohol warming, but you don't taste any of the 10.5%. This beer is slick and smooth, with just enough carbonation. It's still full-bodied, but the coffee provides much needed contrast to the heavy body and sweetness. Palate depth is off the charts, and this is fairly complex when you consider the one-dimensional concept. Up front: molasses, huge swaths of sweet coffee, hazelnut, cocoa, chocolate, vanilla, espresso, mocha; the mids roll into some dark fruits, more molasses, chocolate, coffee, bitter coffee; the back end continues with bitter coffee, mocha, espresso, and a really nice coffee finish. The finish is sticky and sweet with those sugary kisses, and then your drunk uncle, Alcohol, shows up to tuck you in and hold you tight. 

Rating: Divine Brew (5.0/5.0 Untappd)

I'm feeling a Strong Divine Brew here. This is blissful and hitting the spot. This beer is basically dessert, but I can't help but think it would pair really well with a raunchy burger, vanilla ice cream, dry chocolate cakes, and anything with coffee in it. Or you could light up a cigar with deep tobacco notes, and just unwind. I should have picked up another bottle of this, but I was being considerate. 

Random Thought: Seriously, as far as over-the-top glassware goes, this giant Scotch Ale glass/thistle is pretty near the top. It's almost on par with the Kwak glass or the Tripel Karmeliet glass. 

Gigantic Too Much Coffee Man

Brewed By: Gigantic Brewing Company in Portland, Oregon  

Purchased: 22oz bottle bought at Sheridan 'L' Longue in Chicago, IL; 2014

Style/ABV: Belgian Stout/Saison/Farmhouse Ale/Black Saison/wut, 8.2%

Reported IBUs: 25

I've been tempted to jump on Gigantic for a while now; their bottle art is catchy, and the logo and glassware is awesome. Tonight's beer caught my attention and pushed me over the edge. One, I love coffee. Two, the artwork reminds me of Megamind or The Incredibles. At any rate, about Gigantic: 

Gigantic Brewing Co. is a brewery based out of Portland, Oregon. The brewery was founded by Ben Love and Van Havig during sometime around 2012. And no, those aren't made-up names. But they are definitely great porn star names. Ben Love is Gigantic's Brewmaster, and Van Havig is Gigantic's Master Brewer. I'm not sure what the difference is, but I am intrigued. For more info, check out the their website or Facebook page.

Tonight's beer, the Too Much Coffee Man, is: "An experiment perfected! This beguiling blend of Imperial Black Saison and custom roasted cold pressed Coava coffee will have your olfactory zones erogenized and begging for more." This so-called Belgian-Style Black Ale with Coffee punches in at 8.2% and 25 IBUs. The bottle art is fantastic, and done by Shannon Wheeler. How could you pass this one up?

Gigantic Too Much Coffee Man

The Too Much Coffee Man pours into a dark brown/blackish body, kicking up a nice finger of funky, Belgian-esque head. The head is brown and sustaining. The beer looks like a Porter, with that Belgian-esque head. There's some good lacing, and good head retention here. Bright light doesn't betray the dark brown/black body, and the beer retains some nice opacity. Nice.

I'm not 100% sure about dumping this into the Saison category...the aroma reminds me of Belgian Stouts, with lots of roast, smoke, big coffee, and BIG chalky, charred notes. There is a lot of char on this aroma. It smells like barbecued meats. It's not a smokey/Rauchbier smell, it's totally unique to this beer and the style. I've smelled a lot of the notes on this beer's nose before. This beer reminds me of Jester King's Black Metal Farmhouse. The Black Metal also had some Fantôme elements on the nose, and you get those here too. I'm getting leather, smoker's jacket, chalky cacao, and deep, deep coffee. It's a fantastic aroma. 

The taste is a bit more Saison-like, but I still think this leans towards a Farmhouse Stout thing. I'm getting a lot of spice and funk on the taste, with heavy waves of coffee. The coffee isn't acidic or bitter, it's more like a note integrated into the beer. There are notes of dark fruits and figs, maybe some cherry, gentle coffee, big caramel notes, woody notes, char, and some peppery spice, clove, and Belgian funk. I shit you not, I'm also getting some green beans and unroasted coffee beans on the finish. This is really unique and interesting. I'm picking up some cocoa in here, a little lactose, and chalky mouthfeels. Those mouthfeels, man. 

Let's talk about this beer's perfect mouthfeel. This beer is GENTLE. This is like...a Milk Stout. The mouthfeel is medium-full to full-bodied, but damn! This smooths out with coffee and carbonation. The balance here is a bit towards the sweeter side, and that holds the complexity back just a bit. But the palate depth is fantastic. At 8.2%, this hides the alcohol with ease. I'm digging this. Up front: sweet caramel, fruits/figs/cherries, sweeter coffee; the mids roll into coffee, char, woody notes; the back end is spicy with some Belgian funk and clove. The lingering profile imparts woody-sweet coffee, and the finish is unroasted coffee beans and green beans. Weeeeiiird but good.

Rating: Above-Average (4.0/5.0 Untappd)

I'm feeling a Decent Above-Average on this. As this warms up and I work my way through the bomber, I'm losing some of the complexity as the sweetness takes over. It's a bit one-sided in terms of where the balance is at. I should talk more about the coffee, since that's a big feature in this beer. The coffee notes present here are really good. They are well-integrated and sweet, almost in that hazelnut/mocha range. I like it. This beer begs to be paired with grilled or charred meats, and dry chocolate desserts. This is really unique and pretty damn tasty. I recommend this, especially at the price. 

Random Thought: I know the Black Saison style is about as ambiguous as ambiguous can be, but tell me this isn't a Belgian Stout/Farmhouse Stout. 

Penrose P-2

Brewed By: Penrose Brewing Company in Geneva, IL  

Purchased: 64oz Growler bought at Penrose in Geneva, IL; 2014 

Style/ABV: Belgian Pale Ale, 5.4%

Reported IBUs: 45

Hooray for excuses to get drunk 3-day weekends! About Penrose:

Penrose was founded by owner Eric Hobbs and partner/Brewmaster Tom Korder in early 2014. The duo are both former Goose Island employees, and they want to focus on brewing Belgian-inspired session ales, oak barrel-aged beer, beers that use alternative fermentation. Located in the lovely town of Geneva, Illinois, the brewery has a local element that is quaint and inviting. For more info, check out the brewery's website or their Facebook page. 

The Penrose P-2 was listed as #2 on their menu when I was at the taproom this Saturday. This Belgian Pale Ale is described as having tropical fruit, clove, and resiny goodness, along with a "Belgian candy sugar middle." I wasn't able to pull out that candy sugar while drinking the beer in the taproom, so I'm hoping to see how that goes now. This one is brewed with 2-Row, Munich, and Carapils malts; Galaxy, Brambling Cross, and Cascade hops; and Bastogne yeast. According to White Labs, the Bastogne is a high-gravity, Trappist style ale yeast. I'm also unfamiliar with the Brambling Cross hops, which are a cross between Brambling goldings and a wild Canadian Manitoban hop. Okay then.

Penrose P-2

P-2 pours into a cloudy, slightly gold/amber body, with yellow and orange tones. It's definitely darker than their Proto Gradus (Belgian single) and their Desirous White IPA. This one kicks up a finger of white head, and there's quite a bit of carbonation present, even after 24 hours in the growler. This one leaves some dynamite sheets of white lacing on the glass, with those iceberg-spiderweb analogies abound. COME AT ME LITERATE BEER BROS.

The aroma here is much less hoppy than you might expect. I'm pulling off some orange, guava, and candied tropical fruits...but the big note on the aroma is that Belgian clove, light band-aid funk, and very light toast/caramel note. If you pull your nose back a bit, and just generally smell the beer, you get some tropical fruits, mango, and juicy hops. Tropical fruits, baby.

This beer reaches back quite far in terms of depth. To say this is overtly simple is probably selling this beer short, but at the same time this does have a simplicity about it. Those Munich malts tho. Up front are lots of citrus hops, mango, tropical fruit. There's some serious cracker and toast notes in here, with bitter hops hinting at iced tea and wet leafs, playing off the toast notes. I still stand by my initial assessment, if this has candi sugar notes, they are very subtle. I'll let this warm up...and give you an update in like 15 minutes. And, after 15 minutes, I'm still getting gentle hops here, with some powdery/candy hop notes, and deep Munich malts. Is tasty.

This is medium-light bodied, with lots of carbonation. The mouthfeel is sweet and big, but the beer is drinkable and hoppy. There's good balance here, which is a total cop-out for saying the beer just kind of middles it. You don't get any of the 5.4%, and this is ridicously drinkable. Palate depth is fantastic, but complexity is kind of middling. I'm getting juicy but bitter hops up front, with oranges, tropical fruits; the mids throw some fruity Belgian candy sugars at you, with more hops that get a bit more herbal and leafy thanks to the toasty Munich malts; the back end cleans up nicely, with lingering hops and toast. Mild Belgian funk rides throughout, with some hints of clove and phenolic spice. Very nuanced, very nice.

Rating: Above-Average (3.5/5.0 Untappd)

I'm feeling a Light Above-Average on this. Not amazing, not bad, worth picking up in a growler or getting on-tap. Execution and freshness go a long way in terms of where my score is at, so keep that in mind. Having said all that, this is another great beer to pair with lightly grilled meats, moderately spicy Korean Barbecue, moderately spicy Mexican food, wings, and things that play off the toasty Munich malts. This is solid banging from Penrose, more like this please. 

Random Thought: Nothing is better than a 3-day weekend. Nothing. 

Penrose Desirous

Brewed By: Penrose Brewing Company in Geneva, IL  

Purchased: 64oz Growler bought at Penrose in Geneva, IL; 2014 

Style/ABV: White IPA, 6.2%

Reported IBUs: 60

Penrose is the latest brewery in the ever-increasing landscape of Illinois breweries. And that's okay with me. Illinois is a big place, home to many big towns. Penrose is situated in the quaint town of Geneva, about 60 to 90 minutes outside of Chicago depending on if you drive, take the train, or get caught in traffic (who am I kidding; if you hit Chicago rush hour, it could take you three hours to get to Penrose from downtown). 

Penrose opened its door to the public about two months ago, and I have been hearing noise about the brewery from various social media sources, as well as from this great write-up in the Chicago Reader. There was also a good article in The Chicagoist, as well as one in the Chicago Tribune. 

Penrose: dat logo

I guess the real question is: what sets Penrose apart from all the other new breweries in Illinois? Founder/owner Eric Hobbs and Brewmaster Tom Korder have an interesting perspective, so that's a good start. The duo want to focus on making high-quality, Belgian-inspired beers. Their ace-in-the-hole: an emphasis on beers with alcohol content bordering between sessionable and medium-strength. I found this to be a refreshing change of pace as I quaffed their Devoir, a bright and refreshing table Saison clocking in at 4.3%. The duo bring tons of experience to the table. Founder Eric Hobbs worked for years with Goose Island on the sales side. Tom Korder worked as Goose Island's brewery operations manager AND headed up their barrel program. That's nothing to scoff at. 

I'll try to sandwich some of my thoughts about my trip to Penrose within this review. Because I'm a thoughtful guy like that. Oh, and the tl;dr -- about Penrose:

Penrose was founded by owner Eric Hobbs and partner/Brewmaster Tom Korder in early 2014. The duo are both former Goose Island employees, and they want to focus on brewing Belgian-inspired session ales, oak barrel-aged beer, beers that use alternative fermentation. Located in the lovely town of Geneva, Illinois, the brewery has a local element that is quaint and inviting. For more info, check out the brewery's website or their Facebook page. 

The Penrose Desirous is a limited-release (for now) White IPA described as having floral hops, orange zest aromas, and citrusy hop goodness and coriander bitterness throughout. This one features Pilsner malts; Columbus, Cascade, and Amarillo hops; and Forbidden Fruit yeast.  

Penrose Desirous

This one pours into a cloudy/hazy yellow body, kicking up a finger of white, Belgian-esque head. This is a juicy beer in appearance, with good carbonation. There is some lacing, and the beer retains a hazy coating of head as the beer settles in. Even from the growler, this holds up in presentation.

The aromas here are bright, vibrant, and refreshing. Fresh. Right up front, especially when the beer is fresh on the pour, you get big citrus. Namely sliced pineapple, resinous orange and tangerine, and hints of tropical fruit. If you camp on the nose, you start to get some Belgian funk, bubblegum, and banana. There's a lot of banana, bubblegum, and clove on the nose. There's also a really nice bready/creamy heaviness that I can't quit finger...just blissful malt integration. Some coriander and white pepper show up for good measure too.

Penrose offers flights and full-glass pours. Of the beers they had available -- and I tried them all -- the White IPA was definitely towards the higher end of the ABV spectrum. But even at 6.2%, this beer goes down with refreshing smoothness. There's a touch of crisp, watery refreshness, hoppy spice and pepper, crisp cracker and biscuit, and big floral hops on the finish. If you want to get into specifics, I'm getting a lot of sliced pineapple in here. It's a delicious, sweet pineapple note. There's also some resinous citrus in here, ala orange and tangerine and grapefruit. This is spicy with citrus zest, coriander, and white pepper. I'm also getting mild bubblegum and clove.

In terms of mouthfeel, this is medium-light, carbonated, and refreshing. The 6.2% is nowhere to be seen, and you can definitely clear a growler of this stuff in a day or two. Palate depth is spot on, and the complexity is pretty good. The whole White IPA style is kind of meh. Don't we have American Wheat Ales and Belgian IPAs? I guess this kind of blurs the line between the two, so update your style guidelines. Up front: an explosion of citrus and gentle Belgian funk, stone fruits, pineapple; the mids roll into more pineapple, some resin, peppery citrus spice, growing bitterness; the back end drops a little cracker and biscuit, with trailing pineapple and orange. Just refreshing and clean and drinkable. It begs for a 6-pack format.

Rating: Above-Average (4.0/5.0 Untappd)

I'm feeling a Strong Above-Average here. Per my notes at the bar, this is how I rated it then and this is how I'm going to rate it now. It's just a very well-executed beer without any particular bells and whistles that elevate it to some sort of national must-have status. Having said that, this is elegant and drinkable and quite tasty. I really hope they get this into cans or bottles for consumption, I would buy this again for the warmer months. Food pairings here have to include fruit salads, ceviche, sushi, and anything slanting towards the warmer weather. Pineapple upside down cake would be my dessert pairing.

Random Thought: Penrose itself is somewhat small, and I suspect they will fill up during busy hours. Fortunately, I have already seen their beer on tap at various watering holes in Chicago. Geneva is a cute little town with tons of food stops and scenery to check out. So your best bet is to get some food in your tummy, go get a few beers at Penrose, and then top it off with one of the many nearby restaurants. When I make the trip back up to Penrose, I will probably do so by Metra. 

Affligem Dubbel

Brewed By: Brouwerij Affligem / De Smedt (Heineken) in Opwijk, Belgium

Purchased: 750ml bottle bought at Friar Tucks in Urbana, IL; 2014 

Style/ABV: Belgian Dubbel, 7.0% 

Reported IBUs: ?

TIL Affligem is Heineken's bitch....about Affligem:

Affligem has a long history as an Abbey, going back to 1074 when six knights quit their day job of kicking ass, and traded their swords for a more peaceful life. Ten years later, and the Abbey was born. Like most Abbeys, Affligem was subject to numerous take downs and rebuildings. In 1796, the French state shut down the Abbey. It was not restored until 1887.

The Monks at Affligem were brewing beer since the early days of the Abbey. During World War II they handed over their recipe to sustain/preserve the business. The brewery is located in Opwijk, Belgium, and is owned by Heineken. For more info, check out the brewery's website. 

The Affligem Dubbel is an...Abbey Dubbel. This one really needs no explanation. Described as dark and spicy, this one should feature lots of clove, spice, anise, raisins, molasses, and bananas. The bottle is cool, and the glass is no slouch...let's see how she stacks up.

Affligem Dubbel

Wow...this is a raw, rustic Dubbel. I'm digging this from the onset, with the beer's dark reddish-brown/orange body. The body is hazy, and you can see yeast suspended in the beer, along with a stream of carbonation rising upwards from the chalice's nucleation point. This one kicks up one to two fingers of thick, bready, caramel-tinted head. This just looks the part of an Abbey Ale, all rustic and conditioned...nice. [there's good, clingy head retention/glossy alcohol legs]

The aroma is even better than the appearance. I'm getting some apples and wheat up front, with some caramel sugars. If you dig deeper you get rich raisins, breads, brown sugars, bready desserts (I think raisin bread is a safe call), mild anise, clove, green bananas, perfumed dark fruits...it's just deep and layered, and goes way beyond the apple and wheat notes you initially get.

The taste follows through with the nose, almost spot on. That's not a bad thing, as you get blasted with sweet caramel, raisins/molasses, apples, and wheat up front. There are figs and stone fruits abound in here, with perfumed dark fruits firing on all cylinders across the tongue through the beer's velvety-smooth and perfectly carbonated body. I'm getting some hints of bread in here, brown sugar, raisin bread, dark fruits, dried dark berries, and tons of spicy phenols ala clove and cinnamon. Finally, I'm getting a dash of light anise/licorice.

This is classic Abbey through and through. Maybe it plays things a little safe, but the execution is flawless. And this feels rustic and vintage. I wonder how old this recipe is. I'm not getting any of the beer's 7.0%, but this is full-bodied and authoritative. The mouthfeel is perfect, with great duration, and tons of creamy, carbonated goodness. Complexity is fairly high as well. This expands in layers, with apples, raisins, wheat, caramel, and molasses up front; the mids hit carbonated figs, dark fruits, perfume, clove spice; the back end has malts, with breads, cakes, raisin bread, brown sugar, cinnamon, clove...the finish is dry and lightly dusty. This is well-balanced, and big. Nice... 

Rating: Divine Brew (4.5/5.0 Untappd)

I can't believe I'm saying this about a Heineken-owned product, but this is a Light Divine Brew and one of the better Abbey Dubbels I have had. What pushes this beer over the top is the absolutely PERFECT and MEMORABLE mouthfeel, and the layers of complexity. This beer is also perfectly balanced, with good bitterness, tons of spice, lots of malts, and a dry clean finish. As this warms up the spice and malts are popping, and adding the yeast from the bottom of the bottle seems to add character. I'm just enjoying the heck out of this beer, and I could see myself buying this beer again in the Winter months. I feel like this is the perfect beer to pair with a meat and cheese tray, preferably during a football game. You could also pair this beer with stews, hearty soups, grilled meats, and ham. This is just some rustic and refined goodness. I'm surprised...I'm intrigued...I give this a VERY STRONG RECOMMENDATION, especially at around $10 a bottle. Check it out. 

Random Thought: I feel like classic Abbey/Belgian Dubbels are quite different from the candi sugar overload American counterparts. There is nothing wrong with that, but surely this style distinction is worth noting. Compare something like Solemn Oath's Big Box Make Magic to the beer that we have in front of us, and yeah. Two awesome beers with completely different experiences. 

Mikkeller Beer Geek Brunch Weasel

Brewed By: Mikkeller in Copenhagen, Denmark (Brewed at Lervig Aktiebryggeri)

Purchased: 12oz single bottle bought at West Lakeview Liquors in Chicago, Illinois; 2014

Style/ABV: Imperial Oatmeal Stout, 10.9%

Reported IBUs: ?

Continuing with the second Beer Geek beer of the night...About Mikkeller: 

Mikkeller is that European brewery that does things like an American craft brewery. The brewery was founded in 2006 by Mikkel Borg Bjergsø, a humble math and physics teacher who enjoyed craft beer and homebrewing. Mikkel and his childhood friend Kristian Keller bought a few American books about brewing, and began brewing beer and entering it into competitions (and winning!) for two and a half years. Eventually, Mikkel and Keller began brewing beer at the Danish microbrewery Ørbæk, and Mikkel's twin brother Jeppe began selling their beer at his beer shop. Mikkeller's first big break came with their infamous "Beer Geek Breakfast." Since then, the brewery exports beer to over 40 countries, and brews the majority of their beer at de Proef Brouwerij in Belgium. However, Mikkeller is also nicknamed the "phantom" or "gypsy" microbrewery, as they brew at a number of host facilities in many different countries; they have also brewed over 100 different beers in a wide variety of styles. You can read more about the brewery here. 

The Beer Geek Brunch Weasel should not be confused with the Beer Geek Breakfast. The Brunch is amped up at 10.9%, clocking in at true Imperial range. The Beer Geek Brunch Weasel is brewed from with "one of the world's most expensive coffees, made from droppings of weasel-like civet cats." Yup, this is a shit beer. Literally. I already reviewed (and loved) the De Molen Kopi Loewak, so the bar is set. Will this top the fantastic Kopi Loewak? 

Mikkeller Beer Geek Brunch Weasel

I could be totally making this up, but I think the Brunch Weasel actually pours out darker than the Breakfast. The head is certainly a bit darker. Dem Black Patent Malts, amirite? Seriously though, unlike the Breakfast, the head does not hang around on the Brunch Weasel. Swirling the beer kicks up glossy alcohol legs, and you can revive the head -- but it's short-lived. 

The aroma on the Brunch Weasel seems more blunted than the Breakfast. I'm getting coffee, dirt, ash...the coffee is slightly less bitter and acidic here. There are some woody and roasty notes on the nose, with some hints of meaty roast. I'm getting a little baker's chocolate as well. 

Wow! This tastes nothing like the Breakfast...in fact, there is some much needed sweetness here. Not only am I getting coffee, but I'm getting some vanilla, espresso, and even a hint of mocha. There's some chocolate in here, with definitive chocolate sweetness on the back end. The beer finishes roasty and bitter, much like the Breakfast. There are some hints of earthy nuts in here, along with hints of boozy fruits. 

This is the full-bodied experience I was craving in an Imperial Stout tonight, and you feel the weight of this beer, 10.9% and all. I'm getting some booze, which I welcome from my Imperial Stouts at this ABV. Palate depth is really outstanding, but again I feel this could dial up the complexity even more. This tastes hoppy and bitter, and I wonder if aging this for a year would mellow this out. Unfortunately, that would be at the expense of the coffee. Up front: big sweet coffee, espresso, mocha, vanilla sweetness, chocolate; the mids roll into more espresso and mocha sweetness, straight legit coffee shop; the back end fuses mocha and espresso with hoppy sweetness, and the beer goes into roast, ash, dirt, bitter coffee, and finishes bitter and dry. The finish is one or two degrees away from being offensive, but it holds it together. 

Rating: Above-Average (4.0/5.0 Untappd)

I'm feeling a Decent Above-Average here...at the respective price of $10 for the Brunch Weasel single, and $6.99 for the Breakfast single...I just can't justify these beers. They are good, but there are better coffee Stouts available. The Brunch Weasel definitely beats out the Breakfast. It's a bigger, bolder, sweet beer...and I want to pair this above beer with dry chocolate cake, chocolate chip pancakes, tiramisu, or even an aggressive burger or steak. This beer is probably worth checking out once, but yeah. Serious hesitation if I'll pick this up again.

Random Thought: I love Spring storms. A storm came through tonight and dropped marble-sized hail with some impressive lightning. It was quite the spectacle.

Mikkeller Beer Geek Breakfast

Brewed By: Mikkeller in Copenhagen, Denmark (Brewed at Lervig Aktiebryggeri)

Purchased: 12oz single bottle bought at West Lakeview Liquors in Chicago, Illinois; 2014

Style/ABV: Oatmeal Stout, 7.5%

Reported IBUs: ?

This beer and the Beer Geek Brunch have been on my to-do list for a long time, but damn these are expensive singles. About Mikkeller: 

Mikkeller is that European brewery that does things like an American craft brewery. The brewery was founded in 2006 by Mikkel Borg Bjergsø, a humble math and physics teacher who enjoyed craft beer and homebrewing. Mikkel and his childhood friend Kristian Keller bought a few American books about brewing, and began brewing beer and entering it into competitions (and winning!) for two and a half years. Eventually, Mikkel and Keller began brewing beer at the Danish microbrewery Ørbæk, and Mikkel's twin brother Jeppe began selling their beer at his beer shop. Mikkeller's first big break came with their infamous "Beer Geek Breakfast." Since then, the brewery exports beer to over 40 countries, and brews the majority of their beer at de Proef Brouwerij in Belgium. However, Mikkeller is also nicknamed the "phantom" or "gypsy" microbrewery, as they brew at a number of host facilities in many different countries; they have also brewed over 100 different beers in a wide variety of styles. You can read more about the brewery here. 

The Beer Geek Breakfast is an Oatmeal Stout brewed with coffee. According to Ratebeer, the ingredients include water; pils, oat, smoked, caramunich, brown, pale chocolate and chocolate, roasted barley, and flaked oats malts; centennial and cascade hops; ale yeast; and gourmet coffee.

Mikkeller Beer Geek Breakfast

As you'd probably guess, this beer pours jet black kicking up a finger of dark, mocha-brown head. There are fantastic alcohol legs, even at 7.5%, and greasy head leaves dark residual coats on the glass. There's something about seeing a hearty Stout that makes me happy, I wish my sponsor understood.

Even at slightly cool temps, this beer is exploding with aromatics. It's like opening up the cupboard that houses the coffee in the break room at work. I'm getting stale coffee, biscotti, mild coffee acidity, slight tang from the acidity, cherries, chocolate, chocolate-dipped cherries (duh), and some rich nutty notes. Peanuts and pecans come to mind. There's that oatmeal note on the nose as well....just a complicated myriad of good smells. 

The taste follows through with some of the nose, only with a slightly diminishing body. Honestly...I'm gonna let this warm up a bit, as right now I'm getting a lot of bitter hops and bitter coffee. You'll have to take my word that after this sentence I went to shower.....and I'm back. Yeah, as this warms up some of the coffee notes start to unravel a bit, with bitter, stale coffee. I'm getting biscotti, bitter coffee, spent coffee in the filter, woody notes, ash, dirt, some roast, and super bitter baker's chocolate. Cocoa, the legit stuff.

This is a medium-full bodied Stout, thanks largely in part to the coffee which cuts through the body like a sword. When you add the carbonation to the coffee, it really thins the base beer out, for better or worse. Palate depth is good, but complexity leaves a bit to be desired. At this point I'm well-versed in coffee Stouts, so I feel comfortable saying this could dial things up a bit. It's just kind of one-note. I do like how the 7.5% is completely hidden. Up front: acidic and tangy coffee, some fruity notes, hops, bitter coffee; the mids roll into more bitter coffee, woody notes, dark baker's chocolate, cocoa, dirt/ash; the back end is trailing bitterness, with more stale coffee, dirt/ash, and bitter. Not enough diabetus tones.

Rating: Average (3.5/5.0 Untappd)

I'm feeling a Strong Average here...the aroma promises so much, but I'm not feeling the vibe so much in the taste. This is a nicely executed, bitter coffee Stout. If you like that raw, bitter coffee note...this will be right up your alley. It actually reminds me of real cocoa, the bitter stuff. Baker's chocolate. I wonder if this beer would pair well with chocolate, or something sweet like vanilla ice cream. I'd even suggest pairing this with biscotti. I guess you could also pair this with breakfast trimmings, the coffee stands out loud and proud.

Random Thought: It's Brunch time, right?

Firestone Walker Opal

Brewed By: Firestone Walker Brewing Co. in Paso Robles, California

Purchased: 22oz (1 Pint, 6oz) bomber bought at West Lakeview Liquors in Chicago, Illinois; 2014 

Style/ABV: Saison, 7.5% 

Reported IBUs: 35

Wut. I guess even Firestone needs to jump on the Saison fad. About Firestone: 

Tonight I'm looking at a beer from the folks at Firestone Walker Brewing. The brewery was founded by brothers-in-law Adam Firestone (son of Brooks Firestone) and David Walker (husband of Adam's sister). The brothers brewed their first beer in 1996, in a small facility rented from the Firestone Vineyard estate in Santa Barbara County. In 2001, the brothers-in-law purchased SLO Brewing Company in Paso Robles, CA, and set up camp. Despite being relatively new to craft beer, the brewery has a ton of accolades, and is known for their Reserve line and their oak barrel brewing system. You can learn more about the history of the brewery here and here. 

The Opal is part of the brewery's "Proprietor's Reserve Series." This dry hopped Saison clocks in at 7.5% ABV, and 35 IBUs. Brewed with Styrian Golding, Amarillo, and (Dry Hop) Hallertau Blanc hops, this beer features a malt base of Weyermann Pilsner, Malted, and Unmalted Wheat malts. The brewery describes the beer as having inviting lemon grass, gooseberry, and peppery spice. 

Firestone Walker Opal

The Opal pours into a slightly hazy, yellow/melon body. It almost looks wine-like in appearance, except that the beer produces two fingers of white head. It looks the part of a Saison, and busy streams of tiny carbonation remind you that this is, in fact, a bubbly Belgian Ale. In bright light the beer is a vibrant yellow/gold. 

The aroma was jumping out of the glass, with lemony Noble hops, lemon grass, big orange peel, and giant peach. There's a white wine aspect going on here, with gooseberry and white grape. There are some light peppery notes on the nose as well, specifically peppery citrus. It smells like stone fruits and bright fruit. It's inviting but uniquely farmhouse...there is mild clove and barnyard character on the nose. It's a divine aroma. I'm surprised.

This leads off with big lemon/orange peel, stone fruits, gooseberry, and white wine. The mids crush rustic malts, with creamy clove and bready goodness. The whole thing is peppery and refreshing, with underlying barnyard funk. This is a great example of a well-executed Farmhouse Ale, and it is incredibly refreshing. The hops are slightly tangy and acidic, the malts are creamy, and the beer drives home some nice bitterness against the funky Belgian yeast. 

Firestone are capable and competent, so you know this is a classy endeavor. There's nothing raw or rough around the edges here. But this is a bold Saison, and I'm finding this to be incredibly refreshing at 7.5%. I wish I had a growler full of this stuff. This is light to medium-light bodied, with tons of sweet citrus punch, carbonation, and creamy malts to move things along. Palate depth is fantastic, and complexity is not far behind. I guess it plays things a little straight in a market increasingly full of Saisons, but it's like the Buick of Saisons. Again, up front is a big blast of zesty citrus, sweet stone fruits, peaches, white wine, gooseberry; the mids dial up the creamy wheat malt, with continuing hops, some peppery spice, clove; the back end is clove, bread, Belgian funk, and barnyard. The finish is bready, barnyard, and eventually dry.

Rating: Above-Average (4.0/5.0 Untappd)

I'm feeling a Strong Above-Average on this. No complaints from me. This was a good investment at $7 or $8 or whatever the bomber cost. I don't remember. Food pairings here point in the direction of fruit salads, ceviche, peppery steak or chicken, or even some orange chicken takeout. You could also throw this at sushi. I'd like to see this beer in 6-packs.  

Random Thought: Apartment shopping is stressful. 

Victory DirtWolf

Brewed By: Victory Brewing Company in Downingtown, Pennsylvania 

Purchased: 12oz bottle from a 4-pack 3-pack bought at Capone's Liquor & Food in Chicago, IL; 2014

Style/ABV: Imperial IPA, 8.7%
Reported IBUs: ?

How appropriate for me to pop my Victory cherry with their filthy and raw Imperial IPA. About Victory: 

Victory Brewing Company is a brewery based out of Downingtown, Pennsylvania. The brewery was founded by Ron Barchet and Bill Covaleski, two avid brewers and lovers of beer. Although Victory opened on February 15, 1996, the duo were brewing brewing beer long before opening their own company. You can read more about their accomplishments on the brewery's about page. The brewery uses German malted barley and European and American whole flower hops (the use of whole flower hops is one unique aspect of Victory). Victory is currently working on expanding to Parkesburg. For more information about Victory, check out their website or their Facebook page. 

Today's beer, the DirtWolf, is an Imperial IPA featuring whole flower Citra, Chinook, Simcoe and Mosaic hops. This one uses a two-row malt base, and punches in at a big 8.7%. 

Victory DirtWolf

The DirtWolf pours like your quintessential American Double IPA. DIPA her, I hardly know her. Right? Amirite? Gaiz? This one is conditioned, and you even get some yeast floaters hanging around the bottom of your glass. This is a hazy yellow/straw color, juicy in appearance, and kicks up a finger or two of white head. The head is white with elegant lacing, like classical music and the US Constitution. It's a good looking beer and bottle.

The aroma here is all kinds of hops, with raw and earthy citrus, resinous orange, dank orange/tangerine/grapefruit, and just...tons of orange and grapefruit. The citrus is earthy and raw, but it's more sweet than anything. I'm not getting any iced tea or wet leaves here...just straight up dank citrus.

Props to Victory for this one, it is super clean and hop-forward with little malt interference. I'm getting raw and uncompromising citrus, bitter flowers, dandelions, grapefruit/orange, mild citrus rind, and some resinous and pithy lemon notes. This is clinging to the edge of the sweet cliff, almost falling off into something darker and less sweet. But this retains a bright citrus edge, probably thanks to the Mosaic and Citra hops. There's some mild catty notes in here, mostly in the form of dank hemp and resin, and a little spice too. Mild citrus zest and pepper. The finish is clean and dry. It's aggressive and hoppy...the DirtWolf title seems apropos. 

This is medium-bodied, and actually pretty full/heavy. I wouldn't crush more than two of these in a sitting, I think. Although I'm not getting any booze, this definitely has that 8.7% vibe. It's a big-ass American Double. Palate depth is great, with good duration. The complexity isn't far behind. Up front is a big assault of razor sharp and clean hops. We're talking about citrus, orange, grapefruit, and some nice citrus zest. The mids are where the bitterness starts to build, and you pick up some rind; it's still pretty dank in the middle. The back end drops more bitterness, with some catty Simcoe, resinous lemon, dank citrus, and a nice dry finish. It finishes clean and beckons for another sip, which is always a welcome quality. 

Rating: Above-Average (4.0/5.0 Untappd)

I'm feeling a Strong Above-Average on this. This is a solid contender as far as Double IPAs go, especially @ 11.99 a 4-pack. It's probably not the most economic Imperial IPA, but it drinks so clean and refined. It's really a beer without any faults, it just seems to lack some edge to really push it into that world-class echelon of beers. At this point we are just nit-picking. Food pairings here include a pantheon of American bar foods, leafy burgers, or pizza. I'm planning on making zucchini pizza with mozzarella cheese and homemade tomato sauce -- I think this beer would pair perfectly with that.  

Random Thought: If you are wondering about the 3-pack thing, when I bought this beer I discovered that someone stole a bottle from my 4-pack and replaced it with a bottle of Southern Tier's 2XOne. I would be more pissed, but the 2XOne was pretty tasty. Still, that's a dick move. Proof that the beer community does have some bad apples. 

Maine Beer Another One

Brewed By: Maine Beer Company in Freeport, Maine

Purchased: 1 pt .9 fl. oz (16.9oz) bottle bought at West Lakeview Liquors in Chicago, IL; 2014 (bottled on 03/25/201) 

Style/ABV: American IPA, 7.0%

Reported IBUs: ?

The Lunch will continue to elude me, for now...about the Maine Beer Company:

The Maine Beer Company is a brewery based out of Freeport, Maine, founded in 2012. The brewery focuses on American-style ales, with an emphasis on fresh beer intended to be consumed fresh. For more info, check out the brewery's website. 

The Another One is the brother/cousin/step-child of the Weez. The back of the bottle reads, "When we expanded our brewery the stress was something, to say the least. I ran out of creative juice for a minute so I decided to have another for inspiration. 

Another One IPA and Weez use the same hops but different malts. The result - Another One is very light in color and Weez is very dark. Each, however, allow the hops to shine out front."

At 7.0%, the Another One features a malt base of American 2-Row, Red Wheat, and Carapils. The hops on display here are Warrior, Cascade, Citra, and Simcoe. 

Maine Beer Another One

This one pours into a completely hazy, unfiltered, raw and juicy body. The body is yellow/straw in color. The beer kicks up a finger or two of sticky, hop-fueled head. Bright light confirms the same stuff, and you can see tiny streams of carbonation rising upwards quite violently. It's a good, juicy looking beer.

If you like fresh hops and big aromas, this beer has your fix. The aroma on this is exploding outwards with juicy tangerine, spicy orange, white pepper, watery crackers, and tons of spice. This is dank, resinous, and juicy. There's some cut grass and tropical fruits in the mix as well, and it all smells like it is being held together by an affirmative malt backbone. We can only hope. 

My first impression was non-plussed as I picked up watery tangerine, orange, white pepper, zesty citrus, and some water cracker and onion notes. As I sip on this, it's really starting to unfold with big zesty tangerines, peppery orange, resinous hop juice, cut grass, light onion/garlic, and some kisses of citrus sweetness towards the back. It never veers into tropical fruit territory, playing things pretty citrus-straight. The malts here are completely undetectable, minus the shadowy body they provide. This also has a nice growing bitterness. Just super impressive and refined. 

This is a really good take on the American IPA style. It's refined, hop-forward, substantial without being malt heavy...it's just really, really good. The beer is medium-bodied with lots of carbonation, and plenty of bitterness and attenuation to move things along. Palate depth is good, and complexity is pretty high. The only thing that's questionable is the duration, which is suspect at times. I'm not getting any of the 7.0%, and this one seems to have the bitterness expected in a hoppy beer. Up front: a wash of peppery citrus, cut grass, bright tangerine, spicy hop zest; the mids dial up more citrus, citrus rind, a little onion/garlic, catty Simcoe, refreshing hop juice; the back end trails into some welcomed bitterness, with lingering hops and a clean, dry finish.

Rating: Divine Brew (4.5/5.0 Untappd)

I'll toss this a Light Divine Brew and give it a serious recommendation, at least fresh. This is a delicious, refined, drinkable IPA that grows on you as you work your way through it. It's a fantastically spicy and citrus-forward beer, and I suspect it would pair well with American bar food, spicy wings, Mexican food, and even something more rustic like oven-baked potatoes or peppery chicken. I will be picking this one up again. 

Random Thought: Free food at work is a gift and a curse. On one hand, free food good. On the other hand, free food makes you fat. My employer made us do health screenings that included weighing ourselves and getting our blood pressure taken. So it seems totes apropos that they would then feed us doughnuts and cake and all that other waistband expanding shit. How about some birthday celery? Oh. My coworkers aren't Peter North. Oh well. 

Shitty Beer Tuesday #8: Miller Fortune

Brewed By: Miller Brewing Company (MillerCoors) in Milwaukee, Wisconsin 

Purchased: 24oz CAN bought at some random gas station in Urbana, IL; 2014 

Style/ABV: Malt Liquor, 6.9%

Reported IBUs: ?

24oz? 6.9%? Miller, are you trying to get me drunk?

Let me back up for a second. Tonight's beer is a tale of two identity crises. The first identity crisis is just a giant mix-up, and is important for understanding tonight's beer. 

It looks like your fortune is changing.

You see, back in January 2014 when MillerCoors announced Miller Fortune, they started talking about how this beer will compete with whiskey and bourbon. 

Brewmaster Manny Manuele was even careful enough to pour the beer into a rocks glass at a press release -- the same type of glass reserved for whiskey. And that's the same glass you see present in the commercials and advertisements for the Miller Fortune.

The Miller Fortune is described as having a more malty, complex flavor, hinting at bourbon.

Wait. What? 

Is this beer bourbon barrel-aged? Is it brewed with oak chips? Is there any whiskey or bourbon connection to this giant malt liquor beverage? 

#GlassWhalez, ISO

The Miller Fortune clocks in at 6.9%. The slight boost in alcohol that you see here is apparently to draw parallel to the high proof of bourbon and whiskey. The beer is also brewed with Cascade hops. But mysteriously absent are any oak or bourbon chips, or any bourbon flavoring. There is none of that here.

In fact, amidst all the hype about Miller's new bourbon-flavored beer after the Fortune was announced, MillerCoors released an official statement:

"Since that story ran, there have been several follow-up stories that inaccurately portray Miller Fortune as being a bourbon-flavored beer," media relations director Jonathan Stern wrote. "That is simply not true." [Source]

So...let's get this straight. Miller Fortune is a bourbon/whiskey-inspired malt liquor that is intended to compete with the bourbon and whiskey market, but it doesn't actually have any connection to bourbon or whiskey except that if you drink lots of it you will get wasted? Okay. I'm listening. Apparently MillerCoors wants me to get really drunk, and then to kill people.

Wait what? Kill people? I guess we should probably talk about the second identity crisis I mentioned. Can someone explain to me what is going on with scary mobster actors trying to sell me alcohol? This is what I'm talking about:

"HEY! Buy our fucking product or we will fucking kill you, and your family, and your dog."

I understand using hot women to sell me beer. I understand using famous black rappers that have put their 'fuck the police' attitude behind them to sell me beer. I even kind of understand using Sherpas to sell me the coldest and most refreshing beer in the world. 

But scary actors who portray scary mobsters? Really? Mark Strong might be a nice guy in real life, but Ray Liotta looks like he could come unhinged at any moment. You better hope there are no 2x4s laying around or he doesn't feel like compressing your skull with his bare hands, because he totally has that look like he could do that. Oh, and by the way, "buy our alcohol product!"

Who the fuck is this supposed to be marketed to?!!?!? Ray Liotta isn't a cool cat, he is fucking scary! 

Anyway...

Shitty Beer Tuesday #8: Miller Fortune

The Miller Fortune pours out into a deep orange, transparent body. It produces excessive amounts of rapidly forming head, to the tune of three-plus fingers. The head gives way to some spotty lacing, and the beer settles into an amber body in bright light. There's carbonation in here too. I don't think my fortune has changed just yet...

The Miller Fortune website is underwhelming, which is why I haven't mentioned it yet. The aroma on this beer is also kind of underwhelming, with cereal and corn malt sweetness present on the nose. I guess the aroma is kind of "amber," if you like to describe the smell of your malt liquor with colors. If you delve into the nose a little further it smells okay. I'm getting some light grassy hops, caramel malts, and some sweet, bread-like malts typical of a lighter Bock. It doesn't smell skunky or overly sweet.

The taste reminds me of malt liquors, and there's a weirdly cloying, sweet, off-putting thing on the finish. It starts out okay up front with big malt sweetness, bready malts, some biscuit, and a little hop balance. The middle is also okay, as the sweetness melds into some nice mild grassy hop notes. The back end is where everything goes to shit, like when the stripper brushes up on you during the lap dance and you end up with that snail trail. You get that blast of booze, fusel alcohol, and sickly gasoline sweetness. It's a really off-putting flavor, and it's reminiscent of terrible libations served in 40oz cans. 

I'm happy to report that this will get your drunk. If that's what you want, you could do worse than to buy this. I'm feeling some nice alcohol warming here. But how does this beer tie into spirits? I don't get it! It's like the Ray Liotta and Mark Strong advertising thing. How is this beer connected to spirits? It tastes like every other shitty malt liquor, only slightly better. It's light-bodied, easy-drinking, and spends quality time on your palate for better or worse. I'm not a sophisticated hobo so I won't talk about complexity. Needless to say, all the bready and hoppy goodness up front and in the middle is ruined in the finish. Bleh.

Rating: Below-Average (2.0/5.0 Untappd)

This is a Strong Below-Average. The only redeeming quality here is that this beer will get you drunk. It's not the worst malt liquor out there...not by a long shot. There's a refined element to this swill that elevates it over a lot of the horrible malt liquors available. But comparing malt liquors is like rating your poo: no one wins. Food pairings here include being homeless or wanting to get wasted. If Mark Strong reads this, hopefully he can nope the fuck out of future advertising deals. I'm sure a real bourbon/whiskey company would pay you to advertise, dude. Also, don't kill me. Please?

Random Thought: Craft beer has a huge bourbon connection. Look at all the bourbon barrel-aged beers available these days. The Miller Fortune is not only a bad beer, but it is poorly conceived in terms of its advertising and purpose. MillerCoors is way behind the eight-ball. These guys don't get it. And that's a shame, because I still enjoy the occasional Miller High Life. 

Even though this beer is hella cheap, I probably wouldn't buy it again. Maybe if it came in a 40...at 6.9%, I can do similar damage with a good tasting IPA. If I want to get wasted, the aforementioned 40s will do the trick. Take note, MillerCoors.