Guinness Red Harvest Stout

Brewed By: Guinness Brewing Company in St. James's Gate, Dublin 8, Ireland (imported by Diageo - Guinness USA, Norwalk, CT)

Purchased: 14.9oz CAN from a four-pack bought at Jewel-Osco in IL; 2013

Style/ABV: Dry Stout, 4.1% 

Reported IBUs: ?

Guinness déjà vu

Have you ever had déjà vu or a momentary lapse in reason? I bought a 4-pack of the Red Harvest Stout on the night of the Bears vs. Giants game back in early October. I drank two of them, and could have sworn I set aside another two so I could complain about how boring and gimmicky this beer is on my shitty blog. A few weeks later, someone posted their own review of this beer, and I wanted to be like, "hey, I reviewed that!" I spent the better part of fifteen minutes scouring my phone, Untappd account, and blog trying to track down the review for the Red Harvest Stout that I was sure I wrote. But alas, there was no such thing. Frustrated, disappointed, and confused, I swung by my local Jewel on the way home to snag another 4-pack of this craptacular "Fall beer" so I could pen angry thoughts. I shoved the beer into the back of my fridge when, lo and behold, I stumbled upon the remaining two cans I had leftover from the previous 4-pack. Fuck. About Guinness:

Guinness began in 1759 when Arthur Guinness began brewing ales at St. James Gate Brewery in Dublin. On May 19, 1769, Guinness exported its first beer. You can read all about the history at Wikipedia, or try to navigate the fairly commercialized brewery page, loaded with scrolling flash menus and all that fancy stuff. Some interesting facts: Arthur Guinness signed a 9,000 year lease for the St. James Gate Brewery. Guinness as we know it today is a "Dry Stout." The term Stout came from "Stout Porter." Porters were dark beers originating in London, and strong variations were originally called "Stout Porter." Guinness Extra Stout was originally "Extra Superior Porter," and became Extra Stout in 1840. Arthur Guinness began selling dark beer in 1778; Guinness brewed their last "Porter" in 1973. Lastly, Guinness was at one time brewed with a blend of fresh beer and aged beer, to give the beer a lactic flavor. Guinness still has that "tang," but the company apparently refuses to confirm that this blending still occurs. There's more, but there are literally books on this brewery. Check them out, but come on, if you haven't heard of Guinness you just don't beer.

Guinness Red Harvest Stout

The Harvest Ale doesn't have a website that I know of, because it's OG like that. The back of the can states: "SAMHAIN (saw-wen), an ancient Celtic festival held every year on All Hallows' Eve, celebrates the end of the fall harvest and the coming of winter. On this night, the believers beckon restless spirits from the darkness with bonfires and sweet offerings from the bountiful harvest. GUINNESS RED HARVEST STOUT captures the spirit of that night with its alluring blend of lightly roasted barley and subtly sweet Irish malt." 

Promoted as a Fall/Autumn beer, this beer was casually advertised in the store next to all the Autumn Brown Ales and Oktoberfest and Pumpkin Ales. As a fan of the Guinness Draught and Guinness Extra Stout, I couldn't pass up on this at eight dollars a 4-pack. That comes down to about two dollars a pint. This comes in a nitro can, like the Draught, so you want to pour this bad boy HARD and watch that gas do its thing.

The best thing going for this beer is definitely its appearance. Pouring into a transparent, ruby red body, and kicking up the perfect finger of dense, off-white/cream/tan head, the beer just looks gorgeous in the glass. It's dumbass proof, just tilt the can and do a hard pour. Watching the nitrogen cascade is one of the sexiest you'll get out of a beer. There is ample lacing, and the head retention defies logic. Bright light confirms the amber/red body, and the head is so thick and creamy you could dance on it.

On the aroma...nothing unusual. It smells a lot like the Guinness Draught, with that watery barley/roast, hints of meaty/smoke/coffee, a sweet/tart barley note, sweet grains, and a touch of toast. The nose is very mild, and there is a dash of caramel/amber malt sweetness.

The taste is light and creamy. You get a lot of sweet malts, from the sweet roasted barley, hints of toast and a cereal-like sweet grain, the faintest hint of earth/coffee at the way end, and lots of watery sweetness. This beer drinks almost identical to the Guinness Draught, just perhaps a bit sweeter thanks to the addition of the sweet Irish malt.

The nitro pour/appearance/head is definitely the best part about this beer. So sexy.

At 4.1%, with the light-bodied mouthfeel, and watery sweet and creamy body, you can basically chug this beer. While the eight dollars per 4-pack seems like a bargain at first, it is also true that you could easily pound a 4-pack of this in one sitting without getting more than a buzz. It's like a Guinness wine cooler. I guess the Brits would call this a "session Ale," and they would then revel in its drinkability. As a Yank, I don't get it. Autumn in America is wet and cold, like your dead mum when I'm shagging her. I kid, I kid. Go back to blogging about cask ales and session beer, ya limey bastard! Ummm...complexity is low, palate depth is good...you get watery sweet malts up front; that rolls into big sweet malts, with a punch of toast; roast and coffee quickly drive by towards the very end, but they don't even stop to shoot. Meh.

Rating: Below-Average (2.5/5.0 Untappd)

This is a Light Below-Average. It's not so much that this is bad, because it's not. But I'm pretty sure the folks at Guinness fucked up when labeling this. My can should say, "Guinness Draught." If this is a Fall/Autumn beer, let alone a "Red Harvest Stout," then someone is fucking someone in the banger [Irish/British colloquial]. I'm just super disappointed that Guinness is pulling advertising gimmicks and putting this on shelves in the States. If you want to pull a fast one on me, at least massage my balls. This beer is on par with all the average Brown Ales that get re-branded for Autumn or Winter. It's not bad, and it does have that hint of sweet malt that may or may not be detectable in a blind tasting compared to Guinness Draught, but come on. I appreciate this beer for being sessionable, and I like that I can now make Irish Car Bombs in October. But as far as Autumn/Fall beers go (which this is being advertised as, and intent DOES matter), you can do a lot better just about everywhere else. Food pairings: fish and chips, a burger, a stew, country fried anything, biscuits and gravy, smoked cheeses. 

Random Thought: Sunday was crazy with the tornadoes. I haven't commented on the situation because I haven't penned a shitty review since then. As an Illinois native and current resident, I just wanted to say my heart goes out to everyone who lost their home, loved ones, and pets. The rescue efforts have been awesome, and hopefully someone can bring some beer to tap at the local rescue. I'd get behind a charity brew.