Redd’s Strawberry Ale

Brewed By: Miller Brewing Company (MillerCoors) in Milwaukee, Wisconsin 

Purchased: 16oz CAN bought at Jewel-Osco in IL; 2013 

A Cider that is actually an Ale? 

Style/ABV: A Cider that isn't actually a Cider, but is an Ale??? (don't care), 5.0%

Reported IBUs: ?

I'm unapologetically drinking tonight's Cider. Or is it an Ale. I guess it's a Cider..."brewed like an Ale." What will the geniuses at MillerCoors think of next. Redd's Apple Ale is also unapologetic about being a MillerCoors product. The website is stripped down with flashy images for bros and bimbos, and features a frequently asked questions section with gems such as: "Do you have 30-packs?" 

I'm hesitant to say that I'd rather let a gorilla fuck my face before I go out and buy a 30-pack of this, but you never know. This "Ale not a Cider" is made with "natural apple & strawberry flavors." Oh, the flavors! I love apples, I love ciders, and I especially love strawberries. I'm also a sucker for advertising, and my girlfriend expressed interest in trying this. For those reasons, here we are. I assure you, it's likely all downhill from here. 

The Cider Ale pours out...fucking red! No...I'm just kidding. This stuff looks like Miller Lite, with a light golden body, a ridiculous amount of carbonation, and a head that lasted as long as one of Kim Kardashian's boyfriends husbands. Strikethroughs are fun. Bright light confirms this transparent and yellowish libation. Why isn't this red? 

Redd’s Strawberry Ale

The Kool-Aid Man showed up here. You get big, artificial strawberry sweetness, strawberry cough syrup, strawberry suckers/candy, strawberry Big League Chew, etc.. There's some sweet, Kool-Aid fruit punch and apples on the aroma too, but mostly that fake candy strawberry.

In the land of MillerCoors, things are simple. When stuff is just the right coldness, the mountains turn blue. Everything is hopped not once, not twice, but three times. Guys with purses are hunted down and harassed and shamed, because they need to man the fuck up. And Redd's Strawberry Ale tastes exactly like it smells. The only thing aside from the Kool-Aid strawberry sweetness that drives this carbonated soda is a hint of apple in the background. But it's like Waldo: he's hard to find and fuck that hipster douche bag.

For 5.0% this is stupid drinkable, and the sugar doesn't exhaust you like a Bud Lite Lime. Still, I bet you get a nice hangover if you drink more than three of theses. The mouthfeel is like soda: spritzy carbonation and refreshingly light fake strawberry. This is one-dimensional in all the best ways, and cynical as I am, I can't really hate this for what it is. 

Rating: Average (3.0/5.0 Untappd)

Yarrrr a Light Average this be. This shit is one-dimensional, sugary, and basically drinks like Kool-Aid soda. But there's a time and a place for this...the beach, the ballpark, at a frat party. Or, on a Thursday night after drinking a beer and watching the Bears game. I don't have to apologize for drinking this. Sometimes I like simple, sugary gimmicks. Take your Heady Topher and your fancy craft beer and cram it, crammy cramster face. Anyway, I'm gonna peace out then jet to the weed house.

Random Thought: 4-packs of the Redd's was selling for 6 or 7 bucks. Can you handle 64oz of this in one evening? Take the MillerCoors drink responsibly challenge tonight and find out, you sissy ladyboy. Need an Ale? Don't worry, our mountain climbers have you covered. They will pop out of your cooler so you can man the fuck up!