Kona Koko Brown Ale

Brewed By: Kona Brewing Company (Craft Beer Alliance) in Kailua Kona, Hawaii 

Purchased: 12oz bottle from 6-pack bought at Binny's in Illinois; 2012..maybe 2013?

Style/ABV: Brown Ale, 5.5%

Reported IBUs: 28

"This much SPAM." 

I'm not going to lie, Hawaii makes me think of stoners, fat (or fluffy) people wearing Hawaiian shirts, and SPAM. Kona brewing hails from Hawaii, so of course they have a coconut Brown Ale thing. This got me thinking...since coconut is a fruit, does that make this a fruit beer? Coconut is a fruit, right? I'm a bumpkin from the Midwest, so I don't know what the fuck is going on with coconuts. True story: I buy my coconuts at the store. This is the Midwest. I don't take my gun down to the beach and shoot coconuts down like native Hawaiians do. According to Wikipedia: "Botanically, the coconut fruit is a drupe, not a true nut." Okay, I'm bored. I just know I want to rub the milk all over my face, and the lime goes in the coconut, mother fucker.

I guess this is where I talk about the Kona Brewing Company. The Kona website is all tropical, and reminds me of travel brochures, high production porn backdrops, and bongs. 

Kona Brewing Company was founded by father and son, Cameron Healy and Spoon Khalsa, back in 1994. The company rolled out their Pacific Golden Ale (now dubbed the Big Wave Golden Ale) and Fire Rock Pale Ale in 1995. Three years later, the company rolled out their Longboard Lager. The company's Kailua-Kona Pub (on Hawaii’s Big Island) opened in November of 1998, and is known for its hand spun pizzas, organic salads, and fresh beer. In 2003, Kona opened a second restaurant, at the Koko Marina Center, in Hawaii Kai, East Oahu. And in 2008, the company opened its Kona Brewing Company Air Pub at Honolulu's International Airport. Turning out more than 10,000 barrels of beer annually, Kona was ranked #14 in craft beer sales in the United States in 2009. Kona is part of the Craft Brewers Alliance, and contract brews some of its beer in the mainland States. For more info on Kona, check out Wikipedia, or check out Kona's website.

Tonight's beer is quite divisive. Ratebeer loves it, BeerAdvocate not so much. The Koko Brown is described as a beer brewed with real toasted coconut, and should feature nutty, toffee flavors. I've killed five of these...so let's get down to business.

Kona Koko Brown Ale

In low light, this one pours a transparent, filtered, reddish-brown color (like a freshly stained deck). The head fizzes like soda, and yields two finger's worth of off-white foam. The head has a really nice sandy/gray color, and it's kind of tropical. I guess? In bright light, this beer is clearly a filtered amber/brown color, with spotty carbonation in the form of small bubbles. There's some lacing, and a centimeter of head is loitering like stoners in your parking lot. The head still has that sandy color. 

Now that I'm in a beach mood, I just need my bong and some SPAM. The aroma on this beer is pretty awesome, with toasted coconut, coconut, toasted coconut doughnuts, nuts, nutty, toffee, sweet caramel (with elusive caramel fruitiness), and some hints of grain (with elusive chocolate/creamer/coffee). I'm getting some coconut/rum spirits as well.

The beer follows through with the nose in the taste, only adding a hint of mild hop complexity mid-palate. You get a lot of toasted coconut, toffee, caramel, slight toast, and a ton of nutiness. There's a pleasant and desriable grain note in here, dropping hints of coffee with that fake creamer shit in a styrofoam cup, and elusive nutty chocolate. But the big flavors are the coconut, nutiness, mild hops in the mid-palate, grain, and toast. 

This is fucking good. For a Brown Ale...this really works for me. I killed this six-pack, and I would drink this like water by the beach. This is a legit candidate for a desert island beer. The mouthfeel is medium-light, and there's quite a bit of supporting carbonation. This has a crazy tropical vibe, with big coconut/island water. Blind taste this and tell me you don't think of surf boards and bongs and coconut bikinis. Drinkability is high, palate depth is good, and I'd call this complex. Up front is malt sweetness, coconut, nuttiness, toffee, caramel; this rolls into mild hops, more toasted coconut, toast; the back end is lingering coconut, hints of chocolate, nutiness, and coffee with powder creamer. There's a grainy/coconut backbone. The finish is slightly bitter and dry, with lingering mild hops and coconut.

Divine Bong

Rating: Divine Brew

I'm giving this one a Strong Divine Bong. This is a beer that I want to drink on the beach, and dammit, I would drink this in Hawaii. As far as Brown Ales go...this one is like the gravity bong of weed smoking devices. Does that make sense? You know you should fry that SPAM for the best results. I already did right by this beer, and paired it with sushi. You could also pair this beer with Thai food, or some coconut curry. Mmm...coconut curry. I'm also thinking this beer would be pure, blissful overload, with some coconut cream pie, or even pecan pie. You could also drink it by the sixer, you islander alcoholic, you. I think this was around 10 bucks a 6-pack. That's not bad...I mean Hawaii...that's basically an import, right??!?

Random Thought: You put the lime in the coconut.